When I became a Christian, many years ago, I asked Jesus to come and live inside me because I wanted a relationship with Him. He has been present since the day I began to follow Him, but there has also been a struggle within me. In fact, I would at times call it a war within me. My inner self wants the Holy Spirit to lead, but there are parts within me that want to be in charge.
We choose who or what we will follow every day. That’s why being aware of what is going on inside us is so important. The apostle Paul wrestled with the same issues. “For I delight in the law of God in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Romans 7:22-25
I’ve read these verses for years, but something caught my eye for the very first time. (I even got goosebumps from this revelation). The word members made me pause. I realized, for the first time, that Paul is actually talking about the parts that live within him. He states his inner self delights in the law of God, but there are parts that are at war within him that are making him captive to the sin that dwells in his parts.
Paul is showing us that he is very aware of what is going on inside of him, therefore, we also need to be aware of what is going on inside of us. We could have parts that are struggling with false or conflicting beliefs, negative thoughts, and sinful behaviors. “Our parts have to have the Holy Spirit involved in order to heal. New life of the Spirit occurs when the inmost self, through the grace of the Holy Spirit, unburdens and heals the parts and the whole self-system experiences a newfound interior unity, an inner harmony and freedom.” Crete
Even though I gave my life to Christ, I can still have parts within me that are attached to sin and are still carrying burdens from my childhood and traumatic experiences. We can have an inner self that is in love with the Lord, and at the same time, have parts that act independently of that love.
Our parts have to be brought into a right relationship with God. That might sound really weird to you, but as Paul states, we have parts within us that are struggling with sin. I have parts who have been traumatized from my childhood and need help overcoming what happened. I have a part within me that has a very hard time believing God will take everything that has happened in my life and set me free from it. I have a skeptic living within me wondering when the next bad thing will happen. I have a part that is very disillusioned, a part that is sarcastic, and a part that hates the way she has been treated. I could go on and on.
The point is—my parts have to choose to believe God and the transforming work of the Holy Spirit. They need to believe He is working to heal them so they can fully embrace their identity in Christ. The skeptic, the part that jumps into gloom and doom, the part that is disillusioned, the sarcastic one, and the part that hasn’t been treated well, have to come to a point where they are ready to embrace Christ and the healing work of the Holy Spirit. I also have many parts that have already chosen to believe God and have been healed or in the process of being healed by the work of the Holy Spirit.
Let’s be honest. Most of us don’t live by the power we have within us because we are too busy trying to survive; too busy wanting our own way; too busy trying to please others; too busy with our to-do lists; too busy avoiding what is going on inside of us. I could go on and on because I am guilty of doing all of it.
We are surviving not thriving. Most of the time, we aren’t even aware of what we are doing. We have to learn to live a different way. We have to be aware of what is going on inside us, pray a lot, and ask the Holy Spirit to help us overcome the way we’ve learned to survive. Again, Paul is a wonderful example of someone who is aware of what is going on inside his body.
“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but the sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.” Romans 7:15-19
Do you ever feel that way? You keep doing what you don’t want to do or keep saying what you shouldn’t say. You keep having thoughts that condemn yourself or others. You form a habit that you want to break, but have trouble breaking it. You are in a relationship you know isn’t good for you, but you stay in that relationship.
“When we possess true consciousness, we are wakeful and alert, and we see every moment in the light of our relationship with God and the meaning He gives to our lives.” Crete
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be wakeful and alert to see every moment in the light of our relationship with God and the meaning He gives to our lives? When I was pondering this question, another revelation came to me. “I’ve handed my nervous system over and over again to a lot of people in my life, therefore, allowing their thoughts and reactions to rule over me.”
I’ve been living my life from the definition of insanity. “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” I’ve been banging my head against the wall looking to others, instead of God, and the Holy Spirit that lives within me. I’ve been living my life from the way people see me instead of how God sees me.
We must bring attention to the presence of God in our souls. He is always there waiting for us to recognize Him. “We do not lose sight of our focus, which is God Himself. Deep within our souls we experience a kind of unity, a communion between our inmost selves and the transcendent God. When we connect with God in this way, we become aware of a deeper purpose to our lives. We gain a divine perspective.” Crete
I want you to know that living from within is not easy for me. My worker bee parts don’t want to rely on anyone. Neither do my pusher, prodder, task master, pleaser and performer parts. They want to be in control because they feel safer when they are in charge. The good news is, I am now aware of them, and the roles they’ve had to play in order for me to survive.
It’s been extremely HARD for many of my parts to ask the Holy Spirit to come along side them and help them. I have to ask my parts if they want help to heal and move forward. Most of the time, they are receptive, but there are times when they aren’t and that’s okay.
Relying on God and living from within is not easy. I believe it is a spiritual discipline to live this way. We have to choose to live from the power that lives within us. I’ve been a Christian a long time. I’ve studied scripture for years. I love God’s word. But, there is so much more to our relationship with Christ. We truly live when there is communion between our inner selves, our parts and our transcendent God. We are able to live the way God designed us to live when we invite our parts to heal and be transformed by the Holy Spirit.
It takes a lot of practice to rely on God and not ourselves. I try to start my day spending time with Him. He needs to be my focus each and every day. I read and journal so I can get my thoughts down on paper. I close may eyes and go within myself and ask the Holy Spirit to be in charge of my day, my thoughts, words and actions. If I know I am going to be in a difficult situation, I ask Him to help the parts that might get activated. I don’t always know what’s going to happen, so I pray for guidance, protection, help, deliverance, wisdom, etc.
I am far from perfect. I struggle daily to put Him first. But, the fact is, we have a Savior who lives within us who wants to help us live our lives. I have to remind myself daily that there is a great power that is living within me. Even after fifty-four years with Christ, I still struggle allowing Him to be Lord over my life. Maybe you do too!
Like Paul stated, “I do what I do not want to do because of the sin that lives within me. I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.” We have to lean on the Holy Spirit because we simply can’t do it on our own.
If you are struggling with allowing the Holy Spirit to be the power that lives within you, I’d like to pray for you. I know how easy it is to forget Who is living inside of me. May this prayer help you awaken the power that lies within you.
“Lord, You know us better than we do ourselves. We come before You and thank You for living inside of us. Thank you for the power You give us. Thank you for the parts that have developed within us throughout the years. They need You. They need You to sit, listen and talk with them. They need Your healing touch. They might be stuck in the past, and have been deeply hurt. A few might be hanging on to sin because it makes them feel safe and secure. And, some are still struggling to be led by You because of abusive people in their lives. Whatever has happened to them, they need you.
Lord, you know what each part needs. I pray for complete restoration. I pray they will choose to be led by You. Lord, please bring them into a right relationship with You. Help them unload what needs to be unloaded. Help them to trust You. We ask You to never stop working and healing, so they can fully embrace their identity in You.
You are our hope. You are our answer. Thank you for the power that lives within us. May we tap into it more and more every day. May healing move within us. We thank you and we love you!”
In Jesus precious name we pray,
AMEN!!!
I am praying this prayer for myself and for all of you!
Until next time….This is my journey to joy!
journey to joy 