“No human relationship can satisfy the deep soul-need you have. A relationship with a man cannot match it, no matter how hard you try. No husband can meet that kind of need for his wife; only Jesus can do that. And that’s the way He wants it.” (David Hagar)
I would like to say to anyone out there that is falling in love or newly in love with someone, Jesus is the only one who can satisfy you. He is the only one who knows you intimately and knows how to meet your needs. Please learn this valuable lesson now. Take the pressure off the person you are in love with. That person will never be able to meet your needs like Jesus can. Do yourself a favor and go to Him and ask Him to meet your needs and not that person. Throw your expectations out the window! There is no human being who is capable of meeting all of your needs. I have had to learn this lesson the hard way.
I was a christian when I met my husband, but I was so insecure and damaged by abuse. I knew better than to make him an idol in my life, but I did like so many women do. My life revolved around pleasing him and wanting him to be happy with me. He became first instead of God. I was also still trying to please my Dad too because I worked for him. Everything was out of order in my life and I was on a destructive cycle.
I put so many unrealistic expectations on my husband because I thought he could meet my needs. I looked at him every day to meet them and learned quickly that he couldn’t. I was frustrated and disillusioned. It was a daily battle for years to keep God first and not my husband. When I looked to God first, life seemed to go so much better than when I didn’t. I also know that my unrealistic expectations made my husband feel like a failure. I didn’t want him to feel that way.
Intimacy with God is what I yearn for now. It has taken me a long, long time to get here. I long to spend time with Him, learn from Him and listen to Him. I have struggled for so many years with believing that God wants to be with me as much as I want to be with Him. Isaiah 43:4 says, “You are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you.” I needed to hear from Him that I was precious, honored and loved. It is so much easier to be with God when you know He feels that way about you.
Jesus is my savior, my friend, my companion and my shepherd. I want to live my life pleasing Him. He is the one who knows me best and knows which way I should go. Psalm 25:45 says, “Show me the path where I should walk, O Lord: Point out the right road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for You are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you.”
I want to live out this verse in my life. I want Him to lead me and I want to put my hope in Him; not anyone or anything else. For years I put my hope in relationships and all it did was leave me unhappy. We need to let each other off the hook and quit putting crazy expectations on each other. I expected my husband to be like prince charming in the movies and make everything wonderful and perfect. I thought that he should live his life trying to please me and make me happy. Oh brother! What planet was I living on!
I was a very unrealistic young lady and I would like to spare anyone from being like me. I know my childhood made me that way, but if I can help anyone else from going down my path, I would like to do that. Instead of thinking about all you want that man in your life to do for you, why not think about becoming the kind of woman that pleases God? Think about the kind of woman you need to be for God. Encourage your man to grow in his faith and put God first in his life. Go to God in prayer and ask Him to meet your needs. Life goes so much better in a relationship when each person puts God first and asks Him to meet their needs. I cannot emphasize enough that you will save yourself a lot of heartache if you will just put God first and at the center of your relationship.
This principle can be applied to friendships too. Friendships are relationships and the same principles apply. Give your friend a break and get rid of your unrealistic expectations. There isn’t a person out there that is going to meet your needs all the time. They are going to let you down. Most of the time they don’t mean to let you down, but it happens. I have failed in this area as well. I have put unrealistic expectations on friends and have been disappointed. We need to give each other a break and depend on God.
I need to say this. If you are in an abusive relationship, get out! God does not want you with someone who is beating you up or tearing you down. He would never do that to you and doesn’t want that for you. He loves you and wants what is best for you. He wants you with someone who takes care of you, not hurts you.
This topic has been popping up a lot lately in my life. I have been around a few young ladies that have been confused about what a relationship should look like. I don’t claim to be any kind of expert, but feel very compassionate about pointing people toward truth and God’s expert way of living life. The Bible speaks the truth and I want to point as many as I can to what the holy expert says about life. His way brings truth and life.
Psalm 16:11 “You will teach me how to live a holy life. Being with You will fill me with joy; at your right hand I will find pleasure forever.”
John 14:6 ” Jesus says, I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
Please reflect on these verses. Until next time fellow sojourners!