When I Pray

One of the greatest privileges we have is to be able to go to God with everything that is going on in our lives. We are able to talk to Him and ask for His help with all areas of our lives. There isn’t anything more powerful than going to God in prayer. He has the ability to give us the strength and wisdom that we need to handle our situations.

Because I struggled so much going to my Dad with any issue, it was very hard for me to go to God. I usually handled things myself or didn’t take the time to ask God to help me. I didn’t realize what a bad habit I had gotten myself into. Yes, I prayed, but I didn’t really seek Him and sometimes I didn’t believe He would come through for me. When I started journaling, I would write pages and pages almost every day. Those pages became my prayers to Him. I would write scriptures down and I would ask Him questions about them and also ask Him for help with my unbelief.

I was reading Teach Me to Pray by Andrew Murray and came across this statement. “Christ Jesus is our life and the life of our faith. It is His life in us that makes us strong and makes it easy to believe.” I knew that I needed to believe more than I did. I always measured my faith by what I did for Jesus. Faith is so much more than that. It is about how I communicate with Him and listen to Him and live out what I believe.

Lana Packer writes, “A point came when I realized I could go to God with my questions and emotions. He could handle them. He had been waiting all my life for me to trust Him with my vulnerability.” She also says, “The basis for my hope is God’s nature and character not circumstances or people around me. God did not promise that my life would be easy. He didn’t promise that bad things wouldn’t happen. But he did tell me in John 16:33 that “in this world I would have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

My battle was believing that He would overcome my troubles. When I was a senior in high school my Dad asked me to climb a ladder to clean out the gutters. I told him that the ladder wasn’t fastened properly to the house. I said I would fall if he didn’t move the ladder and attach it properly. He insisted I climb up anyway. So, I did and I fell and broke my arm. I was so mad and hurt that he didn’t listen to me and allowed me to get hurt. He sent me to do something that I had told him would inevitably hurt me. He didn’t care if I got hurt. He just wanted me to do the job.

This is the way I viewed God when I was struggling so much with my faith. I looked at Him as a dictator. I am being honest about this. It was a struggle for me every single day for years to begin to look at Him in the right light. I had to focus on scripture and pray like crazy. It was an act of the will to believe what I read and not what I saw. That has been one of my biggest struggles. Circumstances have a way of distorting your view of God. Do I choose to focus on Him and what His word says or do I let my feelings dictate?

He understands my problems and my struggles, but I have to go to Him with them. Psalm 55:22 says, “Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.” (I thought that one was appropriate) The point is that I have to look at His character not mine or anyone else’s. He would have moved that ladder and put it on properly before asking me to climb it. If I were to fall, He would have been there to catch me. He is a good father.

I don’t know if anyone else struggles or has struggled in the past with their view of God, but I have been on a mission to change my view since the panic attacks started in 2001. I knew my view of my heavenly father was the key to helping me overcome my fear. I also knew that I had to go to Him in prayer every day. I had to share my feelings and look at God’s word to see what it said. I would like to share some verses with you that helped me.

Numbers 23:19 “God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should repent. Has He said, and will He not do? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?”

2 Corinthians 5:7 “We walk by faith, not by sight.”

Psalm 4:3 “The Lord will hear when I call to him.”

Psalm 17:6 “I call on you, O God, for you will answer me.”

Psalm 18:6 “In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple He heard my voice; my cry came before Him, into his ears.” (I absolutely love this one!)

I am a visual person and I love picturing God hearing me and listening to me. He hears my cries. He hears me every time I come to Him. I need to see Him that way. So, if you are struggling with praying and believing He hears you, please look at scripture because it tells you that He does hear you. The book of Psalms is a great place to start. I want you to know that you can approach the throne of grace with confidence so that you can receive mercy and find grace to help you in your time of need. Hebrews 4:16

One more thing. He doesn’t always answer the way we want Him to, but He answers with the way that is best for us. His ways are not our ways. We need to rest in His love for us. I still struggle with His answers more than I like to admit, but I have to rely on His wisdom and not mine. May we all approach that throne of grace and ask for His help in our time of need. Until next time fellow sojourners!

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