Tag: bible

What’s Anger Got To Do With It?

Published on by foolforchrist117Leave a comment

You might think it strange that I pick a topic like anger to talk about during the holiday season. To be honest, I’d rather not talk about anger. But, God has been gently prodding me to look at myself, face the anger that has been buried deep within, so I can heal, learn, and make changes in my life. Who wants to admit they have anger issues? Does anyone really admit they do? It’s a topic you just don’t sit down and talk about over a cup of coffee.

It’s also a topic that people don’t like to admit they have a problem with. When is the last time you heard someone say, “I’d like to talk with you about the anger I have within me?” I’d venture to say that rarely happens. But, once again, God calls me to talk about something that I’d rather not talk about. (He’s really good at doing that!)

So, here is my story with anger. When I was growing up, my father was especially difficult to live with during the holidays. I don’t know why he was the way he was. He was definitely a Scrooge. I would ask my mom why he was even angrier at that time of year, but she didn’t have an answer. I think she was afraid to ask him why the holidays set him off. My mom, brother and I tried so hard to get him to enjoy Christmas by being on our best behavior and being thankful for what we got. But no matter how hard we tried, he was still a Scrooge. 

We always knew when my dad was angry, but my anger developed into something very different than my dad’s. You didn’t see mine very often. My explosion was happening deep within me. You would never know I am angry because I am not going to let you see it. I made a pact with myself when I was a child not to react like my father…ever! So, I buried and pushed aside my true feelings and allowed them to simmer deep within me. Which is so very healthy to do! (Sarcasm)

I might not be screaming and yelling outwardly, but inwardly, I am screaming. The words might not be coming out of my mouth, but I am thinking them. The problem with living like this is the fact that my heart is angry whether I say the words out loud or not. 

You might also say that the anger I see, or sense in others, frightens parts of me more than I can express. My body still reacts like it did when I was a child. I shake, freeze up and become very uncomfortable. I want to get away from the anger as fast as I can. But here’s the good news…  God is making me very aware of my anger issues, and being aware of how anger affects me, is helping me deal with it. 

Bottom line…anger is a heart issue. If we don’t deal with our anger, we allow resentment and bitterness to fester, and that my friends, is never good! When I look back at my life, and the years I had with my dad, I remember a man who was taken over by his anger. He wasn’t living his life for Jesus. He was living from a very sick and angry heart. He was allowing the wrong things to rule his life. Watching him day after day live like this, had a deep impact on me. He broke my heart on a daily basis.

An angry heart not only affects the person who is angry, but it also has a deep impact on the people who love that person. We must remember that fact. If you are angry, your anger is going to impact the lives of others. There is no way others aren’t going to be affected by your anger. So, we have to deal with the anger that lives within us, so we don’t hurt the relationships we have with others.

In order to talk about anger, we must look at what scripture says. Let me share some verses with you.

James 1:20 “The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

Colossians 3:8 “But now also put these things out of your life: anger, bad temper, doing or saying things to hurt others, and using evil words when you talk.” 

Ecclesiastes 7:9 “Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.”

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be a fool. Most of us have many reasons to be angry, but the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. I grew up thinking most of my anger was righteous because my dad was abusing me. But, now I understand that letting anger take root, no matter the circumstances, isn’t healthy or good and is a sin. We must take our anger, our bad tempers, our evil words and lay them at the feet of Jesus.  

I know most of us have been wronged at some point in our lives. We feel justified to be angry. We are human and we are going to get angry, but God is the only one who is equipped to handle our anger because He is righteous and we are not.

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written:

‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” Romans 12:19

I am going to be completely honest. It’s hard for me, to admit to you, what I am about to say. I wanted my dad to die many, many times, so we could be rid of him and his hurtful ways. I wanted him to go away and never come back. His continual abuse ruined my brother and almost ruined me. That verse from Romans, made me stop in my tracks so many times and turn to God. I would pray and ask for forgiveness for my thoughts and ask for God to deal with my dad and avenge the many wrongs.

My sweet momma prayed for my dad every single day. I would be so mad at him, she would be too, but she would automatically pray. I can still hear her words so vividly. “Laurie, we must pray for those who hurt us. We must pray for your dad’s heart to change. We must pray for our own hearts to be right before the Lord.”  

I pray this verse all the time. “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.”  Psalm 51:10

Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” 

My mom knew our battle wasn’t against flesh and blood. I had a harder time accepting that fact because my dad was doing so much damage. Even though, I felt like I was in a battle every day with my dad, I was really in a battle against the evil he was allowing to reign in his life. I am now able to see that evil was trying to take me and my family down. But by the grace of God, and a very stubborn spirit within me, I wasn’t going to let Satan win in my life. 

“For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:12

“The human heart is capable of staggering evil.” Hansen  

I actually feel like I’ve been in a fight against evil since the day I was born. If we are light, then we will be fighting darkness. Satan does not want us to win. He doesn’t want unity. He doesn’t want love to reign. He wants families torn apart. He wants us fighting each other causing all kinds of harm. He wants division within all of us. 

Look, I know how difficult it is to not be offended by others. God made aware of how easily I become offended this past year. It’s human to get angry, but we can’t hang on to it. When I get angry, I try to stop what I am doing and start talking to God. I tell Him how I feel, ask for forgiveness and then ask for His help with my anger. Then, comes the hard part. I pray for the person, who is ticking me off, and ask God to help me forgive them. I do this so bitterness, anger and contempt doesn’t take root in my heart. I KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS TO DO!!!!

I am speaking to myself as much as I am you. I have failed many, many times in this area of my life. We are really good at pointing out how people tick us off, but here are some questions we must ask ourselves. (Take a deep breath) Why am I so angry? Is there unresolved anger in my heart? Am I bitter? Am I resentful? What does my heart look like towards someone? Hard questions to ask, but very necessary so we can react differently to anger within ourselves and others. 

We have to see people and ourselves for who we are. Everyone is a sinner in need of a Savior. There are some people who are living from an evil heart. There are some living from a broken heart. There are some living from an angry heart. Some people just don’t care if they hurt you. We have to learn to be like Jesus. “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:24 

“Im not responsible for changing people’s lives. I’m responsible for faithfully loving them. As a believer, that means pointing them to a God who dearly wants them and for whom I happen to know they yearn. I don’t control anyone, because that’s God’s job. That’s His deal. I can just enjoy and love people.” Hansen

Let me say this to anyone who is struggling with an angry person in your life. It is not your job to change them. I wish I would have learned that lesson a lot sooner in my life. When you love someone, you want to see them happy, but it is not your job to make them happy. You will end up hurting yourself in the long run. 

The holidays can bring out all kinds of emotions in people. I’ve lived it and seen it. I’d like to share with you what I’ve learned. We have to be on the offensive. Pray before you go to a party or a gathering. Realize there are going to be people there who might make you angry. Ask God to give you a clean heart and a right spirit within you and be ready to forgive. You are responsible for you and no one else. PRAY!

Remember, it is God’s job to work in their lives and in ours too. We must let go of our expectations and agendas for God and let Him work the way He knows is best. I know how hard it is to do that! We have to lean on Him for everything; be in communication with Him constantly; listen to what He wants us to say or do; and live our lives by giving each and every day and situation to Him. 

Merry Christmas everyone! Thank you for reading my posts. I pray the Lord is using them to help you in your walk with Christ. I am so grateful to God for allowing me to write and share with you what He has done and is doing in my life. I give Him all the praise and glory! I wouldn’t want to do life without Him. Looking forward to what He will show us in 2026. Let’s get ready to see a great light!

“The people walking in darkness have seen a great light.” Isaiah 9:2

Until next time dear friends. This is my journey to joy.

When You Lose Your Way

Published on by foolforchrist117Leave a comment

I can’t believe we are already at the end of September. I’ve missed writing, but sometimes I just need to step back…read, journal, pray, listen and learn. It’s been that kind of summer. I knew there was something deep within me that needed to be addressed, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was.

Have you ever had an experience, when you are reading something that stops you dead in your tracks and makes you think, “Oh my goodness. That’s me. I didn’t realize this is the issue I’ve been struggling with, but it explains so much!”  Here are the words I read. 

“I know the way my life has to go, and God’s not getting it right.” Quote by Tim Keller

After I read those words, I immediately burst into tears. I began to question myself. I hated to admit that I felt like God wasn’t getting it right, but those words explained so much to me. I felt the Lord gently say to me, “I am going to reveal to you why you feel this way. There are some issues from your past that I’d like for you to remember, so you can understand why you feel this way. Take hold of my hand and let’s take a walk down memory lane.” 

Since I was a little girl, I knew the way my dad acted and the words that came out of his mouth weren’t right. I knew I had to do something, so I became what I needed to be, and did what I needed to do, in order to survive. I relied on myself because I knew the way my life needed to go.

I developed strategies to make it through each day. For example: I knew to stay away from my dad as much as possible. Don’t talk to dad; talk to mom. Don’t bring up issues at the dinner table. (It was one of the most explosive times of day for him for some reason) Make good grades or else. Go to Mom for money. I had to rely on my strategies because I knew the way my life had to go.

Jesus entered the picture when I was twelve years old. My mom accepted Jesus into her heart the year before. As I watched her develop a relationship with Christ, I decided I wanted a relationship with Him too. I immediately wanted to learn more by reading the Bible, getting  involved in youth group and going to church on a regular basis. I was “doing” everything I could do to help me grow in my relationship with Christ because I knew this was the way my life has to go. 

A few years later, my dad said he wanted to start going to church. Then one Sunday, he stood up and said that he had given his life to Christ. We were so excited because we thought he would change his ways, but that didn’t happen. He was still angry and abusive towards us. He was a great charmer, so he acted one way in public and a completely different way at home. I began to think, “God, something is wrong here. He should be changing and He isn’t. Are you sure He gave His life to You?”

Only the neighbors knew how bad my home life was because they saw him and heard him. No one in my family ever talked about his behavior and that didn’t sit right with me. I wanted to talk about it. I wanted to do something to make him change. Abuse wasn’t a word you heard very often and it certainly wasn’t talked about when I was growing up. I don’t think my mom thought it was right to talk about it. I was a very frustrated young lady because I didn’t think my parents or God or even the church was getting it right. 

One of the biggest problems for me was the fact that I wanted the “fairytale” life. I wanted my dad to be loving and kind. I wanted my family to enjoy being together. I wanted love, acceptance, kindness and goodness to flow. I wanted it so badly that it took over my life. I just had to do what I needed to do to make it happen because that was the way my life needed to go. 

I also needed to feel safe and I was going to do what I needed to do to be safe. Anything that threatened my safety, needed to be dealt with. I would usually go into hyper pleasing and performing mode; drive myself crazy trying to keep everyone else happy; accomplish unrealistic tasks; and do what I had to do to keep the peace at any cost because that was the way I needed my life to go.

Then, came the day that my brother committed suicide. The world, I worked so hard to create, came crashing down. Everything I did to keep myself safe, no longer worked. I lost control over everything. My body started panicking and I fell apart. This wasn’t in my plan of the way my life has to go. “God are you sure you are getting this right?”

Since my brother’s death, my body and my mind have been in a battle over what happened to me and my brother. There’s been a war going on inside me. I’ve been so confused and upset with God over so many issues, but it wasn’t until this summer that my eyes were opened to how much I was still living my life the way I thought it should go.

It makes sense that an abused child would feel this way. We are children with tightly clinched fists. We don’t want to give up what we feel is necessary to help us survive and feel safe. We didn’t experience anyone coming to our rescue, so we hang on to anything that makes our lives go the way we think it needs to go. 

Here’s an example of what hanging on to anything looks like. When you are around childen, you will probably witness them hanging on to a toy, not wanting to share. They almost seem scared to let it go and are determined to keep it. You watch them struggle to let go of that toy because it brings them comfort. They simply don’t understand why they need to give it up.

You try to reason with the child and tell them, “It’s okay to give me the toy. I will take care of it for you.” But, the child is thinking, “Will I really be okay without it? I think I would rather hang on to it for awhile. That toy makes me feel safe, happy and in control.”

I think most of us feel the same way as a the child with the toy.  We want to hang on to our way of doing things because we feel safer. We don’t want to let go because we aren’t sure God will get it right. One of the hardest concepts for me to grasp is the fact that I am okay and will be okay even when my circumstances aren’t going my way. 

While I was mulling over what God was showing me this Summer, I was watching The Chosen. Night after night, I would watch the disciples struggle with who Jesus was. They knew He was the Messiah, but they didn’t understand what that really meant; why He dealt with people the way He did; why He healed some and didn’t others; why He forgave and loved people; why He had to die on the cross. They questioned and debated all the time. They were constantly confused because Jesus didn’t act the way they thought He should. 

An epiphany came to me while I was watching the disciples. I’ve been living most of my life like them. I’ve had my version of how I think God is supposed to act; how He is supposed to respond to me; how He is supposed to answer my prayers; how He is supposed to move in my life. No wonder I’ve been so frustrated and anxious. He hasn’t been operating the way I thought He should. And that, my friends, is a revelation that has helped me understand so much about myself.

I’d like to say this. No matter what you are going through, God is getting it right. We might have our doubts, but He knows what He is doing. He doesn’t make mistakes. He has a plan and a purpose for everything.

While I was writing this post, the Holy Spirit reminded me of three people from the Old Testament. Joseph (the one with the coat of many colors), Job and Esther. You can find the story of Joseph in Genesis 37-50, Job’s story in the book of Job, and Esther’s story in the book of Esther.

I’d like to share some verses from each of their stories that have impacted me. 

Joseph    Genesis 50:20 “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” 

Job    Job 1:21-22 “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised. In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.” 

Esther    Esther 4:14 “For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”

Joseph was mistreated by his brothers and sold into slavery. Job lost everything. Esther was taken from her home and put into the king’s harem. I am pretty sure what happened to them wasn’t the way they thought their life should go. But, God was with them. He had a plan to bring good from their difficult circumstances and He did. He always does. He got it right!

In light of everything that is going on in our world, God’s words still ring true. Whatever has harmed you, God will use it for good. No matter what we’ve lost, may we still have the ability to praise Him for what He has given us and what He has taken away. (I know. That’s a tough one!) If you are alive right now, you are here, for such a time as this.

When I thought He wasn’t getting it right, He was. When I thought my way was better, it wasn’t. 

Years ago, when God asked me to write about my mental health struggles, I didn’t think He was right. I thought He was crazy. I argued and argued with Him. And then one day, I gave in. I didn’t know what I was doing, but God did. 

This is what I know… The harm that was inflicted on us will be used for good. It’s essential to praise Him in the good and bad times, even if it is really hard. You and I are on this earth for such a time as this. 

My time with Him this summer has given me healing and clarity. Yes, it’s hard to look back sometimes. Yes, it’s  hard to look at yourself and realize what you’ve been doing to survive. But, I wouldn’t trade this time with Him for anything. I would love to encourage you to do the same. Open your heart and mind to God. He will show you the way you should go.   

Let me leave you with this. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

Until next time dear friends. This is my journey to joy.