All of us have been part of a secret at one point in our lives. Remember when you were a child and someone would tell you a secret and then you would have a ceremonial swearing that you would never tell anyone and sometimes it involved a finger prick and blood. I am laughing as I remember the times we would do that so we could be blood sisters or brothers. If you are younger than forty you might not understand the blood sister thing. It was something we did when I was growing up and you didn’t want anyone to know your secret. You had to swear and then double swear and sometimes triple swear and then go through the blood pricking ceremony. Sometimes after going through all of that, your blood sister would go ahead and tell your secret anyway to someone else.
I started out at a very young age keeping secrets. So, the older I got, the more secrets I had piled on one another. I began to live my life full of secrets and I began to think it was supposed to be that way. I was one of those people that didn’t like to talk about my secrets. If you told me something or I learned something I really didn’t share that information. I was so sick with secrets and lies but I didn’t realize it. Then I turned forty and my whole world of secrets and lies began to unravel. I think the Lord finally said, “It is time for you to live in the truth and in the light.” So the secrets had to come out and be brought into the light in order for me to heal.
Now for me, the lies and secrets were so much a part of my DNA because I started at such a young age. My belief system was based on what I had seen and gone through. I had so many issues with God, relationships, love, forgiveness, grace, mercy, acceptance, condemnation, etc. I was a mess and didn’t even know it! I lived in denial for so long! My counselor Marcia had to work very slowly with me because I had layers and layers of lies I believed about myself, others and God. I needed to go through all those layers so I could be free and live in truth.
One thing I have learned is Satan is the father of lies and he is very good at deceiving us and making us believe things that aren’t true. I was living in darkness because of all the deception. I had so many secrets and lies I believed about myself. But, the key was I had to be willing to face my issues, realize what they were, look at what the Bible said about them, and then be willing to think differently and walk in the light. It wasn’t that easy for me. It sounds easy but it wasn’t.
Once I decided I wanted to walk in the light, I was on my way to healing. But, Satan made it very hard for me! He still had some tricks up his sleeve to keep me from moving on. I had a fight on my hands. I made my mind up that Satan was not going to win! So, I had to go to my Bible and fight him off with scripture just like Jesus did in the desert when Satan was trying to tempt him. Jesus used scripture to fight Satan. That is the perfect example of what we are supposed to do when we are being attacked. Fight back with the sword of truth: God’s word. (I like to picture myself yielding a sword for battle. I am Laurie warrior princess! I am standing on a mountain and the wind is blowing my hair! Just trying to give you a mental picture of my theatrical side!)
My identity had to be in Christ, not with anyone or anything else. Neil Anderson wrote a book called “Who I am in Christ”. This book is filled with scripture and principles that really helped me look at myself as a child of God. My thoughts about myself were my biggest enemy and I had to flood my brain with truth. Neil says, “We have our brains programmed to believe the worst about ourselves instead of believing who we are in Christ. God gives you the right to be a child of His. It isn’t earned.”
I believe with all my heart that Satan took all the lies I believed about myself and had me bound by them. He had me all tied up and I couldn’t see the truth. There is a reason he is called the father of lies. He binds us up and makes us believe horrible things about ourselves and about God without us even realizing it. The only way I could get out of it was to ask the Lord to renew my mind. I asked Him to fill my mind with His word and I prayed like crazy! I knew that Christ came to set us free from everything that bound us up. He was the only answer to my issues. He wants all of us to walk in freedom and not be bound up by our sins, our wrong thinking, our issues, our problems, etc. He did not want me to live in torment.
2 Samuel 22:2 says, “The Lord is my rock, my force and my deliverer.” He is the only one who can deliver us! And verse 3 goes on to say, “He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior – from violent men you save me.” But the one that brings tears to my eyes is 2 Samuel 22:20 “He brought me into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me.” God delights in me and He delights in you. Isn’t that crazy?? I can say with confidence now that I know that He delights in me. It took me awhile before I could say that!
I read through all of chapter 22 of Samuel. I would like to share my summary with you. I am speaking from God’s perspective. “Laurie, I heard your voice and I reached down and took hold of you. I drew you out and rescued you from your enemy. I brought you out into a spacious place and rescued you because I delight in you. I am faithful to you because I love you. I am your shield and I am your rock. You will overcome!”
Dear friends, if you are struggling with any secrets or lies, please give them to Jesus and allow Him to shed His light on them. Ask Him to help you see things through His eyes. Nothing is too horrible for Him. He delights in rescuing us. He delights in helping us overcome! He wants you to see there is a much better way to live than what you are used to. It is never too late to turn to Him. Don’t believe for one second that you are not worthy of Him. He tells us over and over again in His word that you are. I am so mad at Satan for all those years that He had me in bondage. But, I also know that I wouldn’t be where I am today or who I am today without all the struggles and especially all the things I have learned. God has used my dark places to show me His truth and He will use yours too! Until next time friends and thanks for reading! I pray that you will find the Lord to be your friend and your rescuer!
Isaiah 45: 2-3 “I will go before you and make the rough places smooth; I will shatter the doors of bronze, and cut through their iron bars. I will give you the treasures of darkness, and hidden wealth in secret places in order that you may know that is I, the Lord the God of Israel, who calls you by name.”