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Like most of you, I am listening to Christmas songs every day. And for some reason, the words “joy” and “rejoice” have been speaking to my heart. So—because I have nothing better to do with my time—I decided to find out how many Christmas songs have those words in the lyrics. At last count there were fifty!!! So I started thinking to myself, there must be a reason why these words are used so much. I mean the obvious reason is the birth of Jesus, but I think it is so much more than that.

“Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger. Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom His favor rests.” Luke 2:10-14

Talk about a spectacular birth announcement!!!! Can you just imagine how those shepherds felt when they heard the good news? They were afraid at first, but then their fear turned to joy! They had a front row seat hearing about the birth of a new born King—and not just any King—He was the Savior of the world! For years the Jews had been waiting for their Messiah to be born—and when the news of His birth finally came—God chose to reveal it to the shepherds. Their evening was changed in an instant! I can picture them looking at each other, dropping their staffs, and running toward the stable to see their newborn King!

“The Lord will appear. The Lord sees. And He will see to it. And He will be seen.”Voskamp And that night was a night like no other. I can’t even imagine what they felt like gazing at the baby. I’m sure they couldn’t believe it! I can imagine them thinking, “Why were we chosen to witness this birth? That baby over there—born in this place—is our King? Why isn’t He in fine surroundings? What is He doing here with us? What in the world is happening here? This isn’t what I pictured the arrival of our King was going to look like.”

And isn’t it just like us to think that way. In our minds, we picture what we think things should look like or how things are supposed to happen. We have our agendas all planned out because it makes us feel better to have control over what is going to happen. Ann Voskamp says, “When we have an agenda for God, we can’t see the gifts from God.” So true!

There is a story in the Old Testament about a woman named Ruth. She had a very close bond with her mother-in-law Naomi. They both lost their husbands and were left alone without a way to support themselves. So, they decided to return to Naomi’s original home which happened to be the city of Bethlehem. Ruth had to find a way to feed them, so Naomi told her to work in a field for a man named Boaz. (She was doing a little matchmaking and it worked!) Boaz and Ruth marry and have a son named Obed. He marries and has a son named Jesse, who has a son named David, who becomes the greatest king in Israel’s history. And then many years later, a man named Joseph has a son named Jesus, who is no ordinary baby–He is the face of God–Savior to the world!

My point in mentioning all of this to you is…. no matter what our plans are or whatever has happened to us, God has an agenda for us that is far better and greater than ours could ever be! Even in tragedy, He is working on our behalf. Even though sometimes it is hard to understand or see, God is working. “God comes through mangers. The mundane holds miracles. Every little thing is going to be okay—You have a Kinsman-Redeemer who takes you and is redeeming everything. The miracle of gifts is always unfolding under the impossibles.” Voskamp

“Joys are always on their way to us. They are always traveling to us through the darkness of the night. There is never a night when they are not coming.” Amy Carmichael  I know that is a concept that is hard to grasp sometimes. At times, I have a hard time comprehending it. But— when I look back at Ruth—it isn’t so hard to see. Even though she experienced the death of a husband, a move to a different city and culture and being destitute—she met a man who wanted to marry her and take care of her. She then had a child who became a descendant of Jesus! God redeemed her situation.

The great thing is that God can use any situation and bring joy from it. We have to turn our focus off of ourselves and on Him. It has taken me my whole life to do this! When I decided eighteen years ago to go after God in a way I never had before, He changed me. He has given me the assurance that no matter what happens, He is right there with me. I have gone through a lot of trauma in my life. Trauma that brought on intense pain. Trauma that caused many emotional issues. Trauma that I never thought would end. But because Jesus is in the business of redeeming—He is turning it around and I am getting stronger every day. He is redeeming my past. God greets me every morning and shows me who He is. My joy comes from my relationship with Him. He is my JOY!

If we want joy, we have to let our agendas go! We have to let our dreams go! We have to let our expectations go! We simply have to or we aren’t going to see the gifts from God and experience joy! I can testify to that. I have learned to say something like this. “Lord, I would really like for such and such to happen or so and so to change. But no matter what, please keep me focused on You and your will for me. If that isn’t what You want for me, then I don’t want it! I place it in your hands and You do what is best. Help me to let it go and trust you with it!” After 58 hard years on this earth, I am finally learning to do this. I am constantly asking Him to redeem things and turn them into good. I want to have joy despite my circumstances or the people in my life.

“Looking comes first if you’re ever to find the life you want, if you are ever to ”see you a king.” Always, always—first the eyes. Joy is a function of gratitude, and gratitude is a function of perspective. You only begin to change your life when you begin to change the way you see.” Voskamp

“You only begin to change your life when you begin to change the way you see” is truth! My life has changed because I have changed the way I see. I pray this Christmas season, you will be able to see Jesus’ birth with a changed perspective. I pray you will look at Him as our great kinsman-redeemer and experience joy like never before!

Before I end, let me share with you what kinsman-redeemer means. “In the New Testament Christ is often regarded as an example of a kinsman-redeemer because, as our brother, He also redeems us because of our great need, one that only He can satisfy. In Ruth 3:9, we see a beautiful and poignant picture of Ruth, unable to rescue herself, requesting of Boaz to be her kinsman-redeemer; that he cover her with his protection, redeem her, and make her his wife. In the same way, the Lord Jesus Christ bought us for Himself, out of the curse, out of our destitution; made us His own beloved bride; and blessed us for all generations. He is the true kinsman-redeemer of all who call on Him in faith.”

Merry Christmas dear friends! May you be filled with joy and wonder when you look at Jesus! Until next time……

I was listening to Christmas music the other night and a song came on the radio by Amy Grant called “I Need a Silent Night.” I have heard this song before, but this year it really resonated with me. Let me share some of the words with you. 

December comes then disappears 
Faster and faster every year
Did my own mother keep this pace
Or was the world a different place?
Where people stayed home wishing for snow 
Watching three channels on their TV
Look at us now rushing around 
Trying to buy Christmas peace
I need a silent night, a holy night
To hear an angel voice through the chaos and the noise
I need a midnight clear, a little peace right here
To end this crazy day with a silent night

Amy Grant and I are about the same age, so we grew up in the sixties and seventies. I only had three channels on my tv and life was much simpler. The expectations were simple. We got a few gifts for Christmas and we didn’t expect anything more than that. I knew my parents did the best they could and I was happy with what I received and I had a grateful heart. (Well… most of the time anyway. Except for the underwear–not “Victoria Secret”–and the socks!–not the cool kind! You get what mean!)

So, how in the world have things gotten so out of hand? Maybe we’ve created a monster trying to give our kids what we couldn’t have as children? Maybe the media has influenced us so much with commercials telling us we are horrible parents if we don’t get a certain toy or electronic device for our kids? I don’t know for sure what has happened—but I have noticed that Christmas has become more of a nightmare than a celebration of the birth of Jesus. With all the craziness, Christ has been left out of Christmas.

I feel like I have to fight harder and harder every year to focus on Jesus and His birth. I find myself running around trying to keep up with everything I have to do. My soul is telling me to pause–take a minute to stop–and slow down–and focus on the birth of my Savior. I almost feel like throwing my hands up in the air in the stop position and say, “I just need a minute here! Just give me some time to be still and get my brain together!”  I need peace and I need quiet more than I ever have in my life!

There is a book that has helped me tremendously focus on Christ during the Advent season. Thank you Ann Voskamp for writing The Greatest Gift! Before I read this book, I really didn’t know much about Advent. Of course, I’ve seen Advent calendars and even created one for my home, but I really hadn’t taken the time to focus on scripture every day and delve into the meaning of His coming. For instance, I didn’t know that Advent means “coming.” I don’t know where I have been all these years, but I didn’t know that simple fact. Did you know that? So, it makes total sense why they call it the season of Advent. It is a counting of days leading up to our Savior’s birth. 

When you look at the book of Matthew in the Bible, it begins with the lineage of Christ. Jesus’ lineage emphasized that He was a direct descendant of David fulfilling the prophecies in the Old Testament. His lineage proved He was the Messiah. Some of His ancestors were heroes of faith–some had shady reputations–many were just normal people like you and me–and then there were some evil ones. The point is that God can use anyone to complete His will! “He grafts you into His line and His story and His heart, and He gives you His name, His lineage, His righteousness. He graces you with plain grace.” Voskamp

If I don’t take the time to pause and reflect each day, then I miss out on the wonderful story of Jesus unfolding right before my eyes. I miss all the incredible facts that Jesus wants me to know about His birth. His story never gets old for me!

Isaiah 11:1-2 “Out of the stump David’s family will grow a shoot—yes, a new Branch bearing fruit from the old root. And the Spirit of the Lord will rest on Him—the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord…” There are many scriptures in the Old Testament that foretell of the coming of Christ. Every time I read one, I am in awe of God because He wove the story of Jesus so beautifully throughout the Old Testament. Jesus was spoken about for over 400 years before His birth. (Let that soak in for a minute!)

I want to be filled with the wonder and awe that the shepherds felt the night when Jesus was born. I like to picture them with their mouths dropped open as they witness the star in the sky–pointing to the manger–and the angels singing about the birth of Jesus. I want to be in awe every Christmas season of all that our Heavenly Father and His Son have done for us.

Ann says, “The answer to deep anxiety is the deep adoration of God.” Most of you know that I have struggled with anxiety off and on for years. So, I am going to focus even more this Christmas season on who God is. I have talked so much about how important it is to keep my mind focused on Him and not on my circumstances. Well, I need to do it even more during Advent. Every day I want to unwrap the gift of His wonder. I want to gaze into His eyes and say, “Thank you!” I want to be in complete awe of Him!

This season—I am asking God to show me more of Him. I want to breathe Him in every single second of every single day. I am closing my eyes and picturing Him holding me as a baby —rocking me back and forth. He is soothing me with His words. He is placing kisses on my forehead because He is tender and loving. If you have ever been abused or struggle with your view of God, close you eyes and picture Him that same way. He loves you so very much!

I look at the manger scene and know that God was there. He was there as a baby, but also as a Heavenly Father watching over His child. God allowed His Son to be born into this world knowing what He was going to have to endure. There isn’t a loving parent out there that wants their child to suffer. We do everything we can to prevent it. But God—because of His great love for us—allowed His child to go through abuse, ridicule and excruciating pain during His death on the cross. (I would have zapped the first person that laid a hand on my kid! Good thing I am not God!)

So—this season—take the time to pause and wonder at the birth of our Savior. “God tied His heart to yours the day you were born.” Voskamp “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget (I don’t know how!) I will not forget you. See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.” Isaiah 49:15-16a 

“Strange, this familiar Father of prodigals whose love, too much for one lifetime, wills that we shall share the feast of forgiveness and joy in the epilogue of eternity. Strange, this daily advent of EMMANUEL.”  J.F. WILSON

There is much to rejoice about! Until next time…..

Picture by Rachel Mathew Photography

When I started writing this post, I was thinking of all the things I am thankful for. I was going through the usual things in my mind and then started thinking of how thankful I am that I can go to God in prayer. It seems like I am always in the midst of learning new things about God and lately has been no exception. I really want to improve my prayer life and go to God first before I talk to anyone else. Moving Mountains by John Eldredge is helping me look at God the way I am supposed to when I pray. If you struggle in this area like I have, I hope this post will help you.

Every single day demands an urgent need for prayer. I have prayed most of my life, but I just haven’t felt like I have prayed with the confidence I should have. I want my prayers to be effective, but most of the time I don’t feel like they are because I have my eyes focused on the results. What I need to be doing is cultivating my relationship with the One I am praying to. I need to be real with Him. E. M. Bounds wrote, “The entire man must pray. The whole man—life, heart, temper, mind, are in it…it takes a whole heart to do effectual praying.”

One of the most important things we need to realize is the fact that we are sons and daughters of the King of the Universe. If you have given your heart to Christ and accept Him as your Lord and Savior, then you are an heir to the King. John Eldredge quotes Dallas Willard. “We ought to look at our lives with God as a partnership. We are partners in a shared mission.” So when we go to God in prayer, we need to look at Him as a partner in our lives and in our struggles. I can’t tell you how much this concept helps me! He isn’t someone I just go to in a crisis—He is my partner.

Something else that is amazing is the fact that not only are we a son or a daughter and an heir of the King, we are His friend. John 15:13-15 “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”

When I look at my friends, I see women who stick by me, listen to me, encourage me, assist me, pray for me, love me, laugh with me and cry with me. I have amazing friends. But I need to look at God in the same way. He also listens to me, encourages me, assists me, prays for me, loves me, laughs with me and cries with me. So when I go to Him, I need to remember that He is my friend, confidant and ally. My life and my work on this earth is because of my partnership with Him.

Another thing that I feel like is so important to do is to hold hands or lay hands on others as we pray. God has been nudging me to do this more. I have to admit that I haven’t been comfortable in this area, but I really want to change and be more open to do this. Physical touch seems to make our prayers stronger when we are gathered together. 

Have you ever wondered why we should say, “In Jesus’ name” when we end our prayers? Let me share with you what John Eldredge says about this statement. “In Jesus’ name” is even more of a command— far, far more declarative and final, like the drop of a judge’s gavel. We are using the authority of the ruler of all galaxies and realms to enforce the power of what we have just prayed.” I have to be honest and say that I have ended my prayers with those three words for so many years and not realized the power and the authority that is behind it.

Jesus wants us to claim the authority we have because of what He did on the cross. “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.” Matthew 28:18 So when I pray, I need to remember that He has the authority to answer those prayers. The hard part is for me to trust His answers. But—when I step back and look at His character—I realize that because He is my friend, my ally, my confidant and my partner—He is doing what is best for me. (And sometimes that is really hard to see!)

There have been so many prayers that I have prayed, that I didn’t like the answer to. I have been frustrated. I have been angry. I have been sad and I have been impatient while waiting. I know that His answers are way above what I can understand. He knows everything from the beginning to the end of our lives—and He sees things that we do not see. I have to trust that He knows what is best for me.

I think that our culture has gotten into a dangerous attitude that God needs our approval on what He does in our lives. I have even fallen into that trap! But, I am not all-knowing. I am human with a limited capability of grasping what is happening around me. I struggle to understand why, but sometimes it just isn’t possible to understand why. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. Isaiah 55:8

I need to remind myself that, “He is the Rock, His works are perfect, and all His ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is He.” Deuteronomy 32:4 I have to step back from the situation I am in and remind myself of who God is. When I pray, I am praying to a God who is perfect and doesn’t do anything wrong. Whatever He does in my life is good whether I like it or not. (And there has been plenty I haven’t liked!)

So, when I pray, I have to step out of myself and look at who God is. I cannot humanize Him.  Everything He does is pure and everything He does is from love. Everything He does is perfect.  Just think for a moment, what our lives would be like without Him watching over us every single second of the day. He intervenes constantly in our lives without us even knowing. “He rides across the heavens to help us on the clouds of His majesty.” Deuteronomy 33:26 (Like watching a super hero arrive just in time to save the day!)

A gentle reminder for myself and for you—don’t let your feelings control you. It is so important not to allow Satan to get into our feelings. For example, there have been many days that I have felt abandoned. But, does God abandon me? NO! I cannot allow those feelings become my truth. When I feel that way, I have to stop and look at truth! Eldredge reminded me of that fact when he said, “The emotions are real, and they matter, but emotions are not a safe harbor for the soul. Our enemy is always there in times of distress, trying to get us to agree with his lies, You are forsaken.”

My main goal is not to see more answers to prayer, but to learn extensively about the God I am praying to. I want to see my Father’s loving gaze when I come to Him in prayer. You see, I don’t recall a time in my life when my earthly father looked at me with love in his eyes. I have seen pictures of him smiling at the camera when I was little, but I don’t recall seeing those eyes smiling at me with love in them. That has affected me. It has shaken me to the core because the eyes reflect what is in the soul. It is so important that I educate myself and see God correctly when I go to Him in prayer. That frightened little girl inside me needs to learn that her Heavenly Father is completely different—frankly, there is no comparison!

I am going to end with some thoughts on the authority that God has given us when we pray. “You are not the orphaned child, sitting out in the hall hoping your busy Father will see one of the notes you have pushed under his door; you are not a homeless beggar,  standing on the corner hoping God will pass by and hand you a couple of bucks; you are not a refugee, standing in line at the embassy hoping the Ambassador will hear your request. Not even a faithful servant, humbly trying to do your best. You are a son or daughter of the living God, a friend and ally, wielding His authority to get things done. And by the way—your eternal destiny is to reign.” Eldredge

I can’t wait to learn more and share it with you! Until next time……

I love to watch Star Wars, Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter movies because they depict the fight between good and evil. There are so many spiritual truths in these movies. When I watch them, it makes me wonder what is really going on in the spiritual realm between the angels and the demons. I know there is a war going on that we cannot see—right now— this very minute. Yes, we are in the middle of a war that we cannot see between the Prince of Darkness and the Prince of Peace. One day, the Lord is going to kick Satan’s butt once and for all and there will be no more evil. I personally cannot wait for that day!

With the advancement of the internet, social media, television, technology, we can find out tragedies within minutes. It is out there blasting us in the face 24/7. It is so easy to get bogged down in it and let it rule our emotions. You can become a basket case within seconds of reading the news or hearing about it. Evil happenings are bombarding you all the time. I have to turn it off and keep away from it sometimes because it disturbs me so much.

Allow me to share something with you by John Eldredge. “The invasion of the kingdom of God is something that is still unfolding, right now, today. Jesus is not merely seated upon a throne somewhere up in the sky.” Then he refers to 1Corinthians 15:24-25 which says, “Then the end will come, when He hands over the kingdom to God the Father after He has destroyed all communion, authority and power. For He must reign until He has put all His enemies under His feet.” That means that Jesus is working—right now—all the time—to put all the enemies under His feet. All I can say is “Hallelujah!!”

Here is the thing we need to understand. God created the world and everything in it. He picked Adam and Eve to be the first inhabitants on this planet. God warned them not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, but Eve just couldn’t help herself. Satan convinced her that God didn’t mean what He said and made her think that she was missing out on something better. She then convinced Adam to eat from the tree of forbidden fruit and the rest is history.

When God chose to create us, He gave us free will. Adam and Eve had free will. At a very pivotal moment in history, Eve chose to listen to Satan instead of God. Then, Adam chose to listen to Eve instead of God. They chose to listen to the wrong person! Since then, there has been this struggle for every single human being born on this earth. God could have made us like puppets on a string, but He didn’t because of His great love for us. He wanted us to have free will. It is our fault, not God’s that we choose sin. I get so sick and tired of people blaming God. It isn’t His fault that people are evil. We all have a choice in how we decide to live our lives.

When I was growing up, my chief authority figure was my Dad. Because of his abusive power, I tended not to trust people in authority over me. So, I struggled for years trusting God. When the panic attacks started, I knew deep down inside that I had to start learning who God was. I had to start studying God’s word and learn as much as I possibly could about Him. I knew the only way I was going to survive was to have an intimate relationship with my heavenly Father.

God wants an intimate relationship with all of us. And In order to have that, we need to know who God is. When I go to Him to pray or to study, I have learned that God is my partner. I have struggled with that concept because I was a “Lone Ranger” for many years. Every single day I need to remind myself that I have a partner who wants me to turn to Him for help. He wants me to keep my eyes focused on Him, not my problems or crises. When I take my eyes off of Him, I begin to drown in fear and anxiety. I need to keep my eyes fixed on the One who can truly help me.

I think one of the biggest hurdles we have is realizing the truth about who God is. Each person’s view of God is defined by what has happened to them in their lives instead of who He really is. When I first started on this journey, I thought God was angry with me so I was very afraid of Him. I was basing my knowledge of God on my feelings and the things that had happened to me. My view of Him was terribly warped by abuse, so I had major issues talking to Him. I had to learn who He really was in order to overcome my view of Him. I have learned that God is someone who listens. I also learned that He is kind, loving, supportive, generous and even fun! I have come a long way in my view of Him. It is so important for all of us to know who we are talking to. We need to know what He is capable of and the only way we are going to know these things is to study and spend time with Him. I continue to learn and be in awe of Him on a daily basis. 

In our culture today, I think we have allowed God to become small. We have forgotten who He is because of all the violence and tragedies. I think Satan is using all these things to make us doubt the power and might of our God like never before. John Eldredge adds, “The evil one pounces, poisoning our confidence that a good and loving God is in control. As a friend said at lunch yesterday, “It takes everything to believe that God exists and that He’s good.” I think that if we are honest with ourselves, most of us would tend to agree with that statement. That is why it is so important for us to know who God is and what He is capable of. We can’t rely on our feelings. We need to rely on the word of God.

When you read the Psalms, you see the struggles David faces with others, with himself, with tragedies, wars, and with God. He was far from perfect and made a lot of mistakes. But, He is credited for a man after God’s own heart. I personally think the only way we are going to know God is to go after His heart. “The Psalms are given to the church as our prayer book, our primer, and they are beautiful. Assuring us that not only can God handle the full span of our emotional life, He invites us to bring it to Him.” Eldredge

I was reminded this morning by Facebook that it has been two years since I have been writing this blog. ( I can’t believe it!) When I started counseling eighteen years ago, Marcia (my counselor) told me to find a spot in my house where I would feel safe. I picked a corner in my bedroom where I could pray, study and journal. The picture posted above is where I spend most of my time with God unless it is a nice day; then I am outside. I have spent hours going after God in this spot. My pursuit has changed me and I feel like I am just scratching the surface of who He is.

I love my God and I want you to love Him too. I would love for you to know Him and pursue Him. If you are feeling desperate or you just want to know more, then I encourage you to read the Psalms. You will see that God wants to have a relationship with you. He wants to be involved in your life. As you read, I encourage you to journal. It feels weird at first, but it brings intimacy into your relationship with Him. I basically write down my feelings and have conversations with Him over what I am learning or what I am struggling with.

This blog wouldn’t be possible without the support of my family. When I first started I was scared to death to do it. They have edited my writing–looked up scripture for me–supported me and encouraged me. I want to say “THANK YOU!” to them and to you for reading my blog. I pray God is using it in your life. I want to be a woman who goes after God’s heart. I don’t want to stop going after Him until the day I die. I am so very grateful that I get to have a relationship with the God of the Universe. I am so blessed! No matter what happens in my life, I have Him by my side. I can’t put a price tag on that! 

Until next time dear friends….

When I was involved in Young Life back in high school and college, we would perform random acts of kindness when we were on our way out to camp or ski trips. We might clean up our tables for the waiter or waitress or pick up trash or give extravagant compliments or cheer for people. You know, just outrageous things that would bring a smile to a complete stranger. It was so much fun to see the reactions on people’s faces!

Last year at Christmas time, I really wanted to do a random act of kindness. So I brainstormed with my friends AJ, Debbie and Jo and we came up with the idea of walking around downtown Newburgh with coffee and donuts. Jo owns a local coffee shop, so she supplied the coffee and we bought the donuts. AJ also thought it would be funny if I dressed up in a Chewbacca costume as I walked around town, so I did. (I love a challenge!) I invited my daughter Leah to join us and away we went! It was so much fun going around town giving out coffee and donuts. The reactions were priceless.

Everyone can show kindness in smaller ways. You can compliment others. You could give up your seat for someone who needs it more than you do. You can open the door for someone who is struggling. You can say, “Thank you” or “Have a nice day!” or say something else that would brighten someone’s day. The point is, the world seems to be a better place when people show each other kindness.    

God has also been reminding me lately that He shows me kindness in many different ways. One of the ways He shows me kindness is giving me His comfort. When I think of the word comfort, my mind goes to someone wrapping their arms around me and telling me everything is going to be ok. One of the actual definitions of comfort is “the easing or alleviation of a person’s feelings of grief or distress.” Hugs seem to be a good way to show someone you care. 

When I was growing up, hugs weren’t a part of my culture — performance was. So, I was very deficient in knowing what it felt like to be consoled by physical touch. Because my environment was so performance oriented, I really struggled with believing that God wanted to comfort me. That concept was completely foreign to me because I was rarely consoled as a child. I thought I was on my own. So as the years went by, I became very self-reliant emotionally. I didn’t know that God wanted to help me with my burdens. I was oblivious to that fact. I thought I had to be a good soldier and suck it up and deal with everything all on my own.

I am much better now, but I still struggle at times to get my brain to understand that my God is the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort. 2 Corinthians 1:3 He is present in my suffering, so I don’t have to “handle” it on my own. I still forget that point because I was conditioned to think I was on my own for so many years. But, I have a Heavenly Father who is compassionate and He actually wants to give me comfort.

One of the reasons why I struggled for so long was because one of my Dad’s favorite sayings was, “Pain doesn’t hurt.” So, I denied and hid my pain because it wasn’t supposed to hurt. (No wonder I was screwed up!) NEWS FLASH—PAIN DOES HURT! I shoved years and years of pain inside me because I thought I had to.

Kelly Minter explains what the greek word for compassion means. “The Greek word is oiktirmos and is used only five times in the New Testament. It means ”Bowels in which compassion resides, a heart of compassion, emotions, longings, manifestations of pity” or the inward parts. When we look at the definition of this word, we get a strong sense of feeling. According to Scripture, I want you to hear today that the Lord feels for you.”

THE LORD FEELS FOR US! Let that soak in for a minute. That aspect of God is so important for us to know. If I would have known that long ago, it would have saved me feeling like I had to handle everything on my own. (And a lot of money on counseling!) I didn’t realize that I had God to turn to for comfort until I was in my forties! That might sound crazy to you, but it’s true. My brain couldn’t see that side of God because I was so screwed up!

When there is suffering, He is there to comfort us. You will not have one without the other because suffering and comfort go hand in hand. And—He not only comforts me—but He uses my suffering so I can comfort others. 2 Corinthians 1:4 So, I have been able to relate to all kinds of different things because of my suffering. God has used my suffering in other people’s lives and I find great joy in that fact. I want God to use my suffering to help others and for His glory!

So—if you are suffering—let me tell you that God will comfort you—if you let Him.  The reason why I say, “If you let Him,” is the fact that it is a two way street. There have been times when I have been in so much pain or been so angry or inconsolable that I didn’t want to be comforted. I wasn’t able to receive comfort from God or anyone else for that matter. Pain and anger have a way of messing with our minds because they misconstrue our thinking. That’s why we need to be very careful when we are suffering to focus on truth and keep our hearts open to God’s comfort. We need to allow Him to console us.

Kelly Minter states, “When we traverse through difficulty, it’s often hard to see outside of our pain. But we find great purpose in our suffering when we realize our experiences will serve as unique comforts to others going through similar trials.” That means that my pain and your pain has purpose. There is purpose in our suffering!

I don’t know about you, but that truth makes my suffering worthwhile. All my pain, abuse, anxiety, depression and struggles have a purpose in my life and also enable me to help others. I am going to be honest and say that I don’t like suffering. I don’t like to be in pain. I don’t like it at all! But—when I look back at all that has happened—I am able to see what God has done for me and in me. He has taught me so much and changed me. I wouldn’t be who I am without the suffering. (I know. I wish there was an easier way!)

Everywhere I look today, I see suffering. No one is exempt from it. But, I can’t think of a better person to turn to than my Lord and Savior. He is always there to give me what I need. He truly is the God of all comfort and the Father of compassion. I can’t live my life without Him and I really don’t want to handle things on my own any more. It’s just too hard to be self-reliant—and it’s exhausting! 

So, let’s give each other hugs! Let’s go the extra mile and say something nice to someone. Pay things forward. Do random acts of kindness. Go out there and look for ways to make someone’s day. Pray for one another. You never know what kind of impact your kindness will have on someone. Kindness gets me more than almost anything else does. I actually cry when I witness it. (I just can’t help myself!) I’m the one who cries when people win on game shows. I’m also the one who cries during the Hallmark commercials. I just want everyone to be nice to each other for goodness sakes! (RANT OVER!) 

I always think of this saying when it comes to being kind. “You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.” That’s what my Momma taught me. Until next time friends…..

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”