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Have you ever gone through seasons in life when it is so hard to see which way to go? You just can’t seem to figure out the best plan of action or the answer to your problem. Every day you question and wonder what is going on and you just can’t see what God is trying to show you. You just get so frustrated and confused. Am I resonating with anyone out there?

I have had several situations in my life that brought me to my knees and begging for answers. I have cried for help many, many times because I wanted God’s truth in my life. His way is the way I want! He knows far better than I do what is best for me, so that is why I go to Him for answers.

I am learning so much from a book by John Eldredge called “Moving Mountains.” Since  my life has been filled with so much chaos, anxiety and fear, I have had a hard time hearing God. John states, “Pressure nearly always guarantees you will have a hard time discerning what God is saying, if you hear anything at all. Pressure clenches up your heart and soul and ties all your insides in rubber-band knots. Even if God is shouting, it is unlikely he can get through to you because of the chaos.” (I’m picturing Him waving His hands and shouting like you do at a sporting event and I can’t hear him because of all the noise.)

I know that my life and my mind have been filled with so many things that I haven’t been able to hear God in the past. And, my constant attempts to “figure things out” haven’t helped either! Eldredge says it best, “The key to receiving answers to prayer for guidance is to let go of our constant attempts to figure things out.” Stress and pressure cause me to panic. I have to talk myself down off the ledge of spiraling out of control. I have to push the pause button and remember to go before the Lord and align myself under Him and ask for His help. (I talked about aligning ourselves in the post “Fixer Upper”)

This is where God’s word is so important. There are several verses in Daniel that tell us that God reveals mysteries.

Daniel 2:28 “But there is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries.”

Daniel 2:22 “He reveals deep and hidden things, He knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with Him.”

Daniel 2:19 “During the night the mystery was revealed to Daniel in a vision. Then Daniel praised the God of heaven.”

Listen, I know how hard it is to deal with unanswered prayers. But, part of the problem is me. I want answers now! I want things to get better now! I want people to change now! I want to tell God that my plan of action is the best way to do things now! But as Eldredge says, I have to quit my constant attempt to figure things out. (And might I add, quit telling God what to do!)

“And can I add how fruitless it is to seek God’s counsel while you are privately committed to one course of action over all others? We must surrender our agendas. We must surrender our “best thoughts” on the matter. We must surrender our secret desires. When we do this, we are in a much better place to receive God’s thoughts on the situation.” Eldredge

So, I need to examine my motives when I go before the Lord. Usually I am a desperate woman who is in need of some relief and I can’t think straight. (I like to call it “hormone hell.”) I have been that way a lot lately because of increased anxiety in my life. So, I need to go before the Lord and apologize for my behavior and ask Him to shed some light on my situation. I need to surrender what I want and what I think will make me feel better. And as I go through the hard times, I need to claim Psalm 119:6, “May your unfailing love be my comfort.” 

I am trying some new things in my life to deal with my anxiety. I have known for awhile that I needed to give up Diet Mountain Dew—but I did not want to dew it. (Ha Ha!) I knew I was addicted. I really felt like the Lord was tapping me on the shoulder and telling me to give it up and I was resisting big time. It was a stronghold in my life. I also knew that I needed to make some dietary changes as well. So, I made the plunge and gave up the Dew and have started making the dietary changes. (It’s so nice to have a daughter who is a dietician helping you. That Purdue education is paying off! Boiler Up!)

I got to the point that I was sick and tired of being sick and crazy! The Lord has shown me through scripture that He is right there with me. I have to make these changes in my life if I am going to have much of a life to live. He has given me confirmation that this is what I should do.

                               “I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,

                                      along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;

                                I ’twill turn darkness into light before them

                                     and make the rough places smooth.

                               These are the things I will do;

                                      I will not forsake them.” Isaiah 42:16

I am counting on the Lord to get me through all the changes I need to make. I am praying for Him to guide me in the way I should go. It is so easy for me to come up with my own plan of action without consulting Him on the correct plan of action for me. I have to surrender my thoughts to Him and ask for HIs guidance before I make any decisions. And, that is really hard for a girl like me to do! I get so wrapped up in fixing myself that I forget to look to the One who created me and has the answers for what is best for me.

So, any questions I have or decisions I need to make, I am going to proclaim Genesis 1:3, “Let there be light!” Father, shine your light on what I need to know and do. “Surrender is the key. Yield your desires and plans and hunches to the living God so that you might receive from him something far better: His counsel. Consecrate the matter; consecrate the process of decision making too!” Eldredge

In light of Billy Graham’s passing, I just want to say that when I look at him, I see someone who followed the Lord with all his heart. That man spent his life sharing God’s word to millions of people. He had a burden for people to know Christ as their Savior and have a personal relationship with Him. This past week I have watched so many clips of him preaching and seen how many lives he touched. I just can’t quit crying! That man and the message of receiving Christ as our Savior brought people from death into life. People that would have gone to hell are now in heaven because Billy wasn’t afraid to preach God’s word. 

When he got to heaven, I know that he heard, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” (And there were probably a million people waiting for him at the pearly gates!) I don’t know if we will ever have another man quite like him on this earth, but each one of us can share the good news of Jesus in our own circle of friends and in our communities. People need Jesus. Our world needs Jesus. That fact will never change. So, let’s go and be the hands and feet of Jesus and share the good news to as many people as we can. I know that when I get to heaven I want to hear, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” I want my Heavenly Father to be proud of me.

Until next time dear friends….

Matthew 28:19 “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Last week, I read about another Hollywood celebrity that committed suicide. My heart always breaks when I read about someone who commits that act. Suicide is something that affects my heart because my brother David ended his life 20 years ago this past July. Suicide affects everyone that loved that person. It seems to represent failure—but I would like to look at it from a different perspective. (Hang in there with me as I try to explain myself.)

I mentioned in my last post the verse that Joseph spoke to his brothers in Genesis 50:20, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good.” Good can come from horrible situations. I believe that the good that came from my brother’s death was a changed life for me.

My brother and I grew up in the same home, but the toxic environment affected us differently. I was the first born, performance oriented child who was going to please everyone and keep the peace. David was the more sensitive child. He was quiet and more reserved. He was very intelligent and spent many hours playing alone. We were exact opposites. I have learned from being a parent that each child is different and each one reacts differently to situations.

When David ended his life, I felt like he was telling me, “There is something wrong here! We have pretended that everything is okay, but it isn’t. Stop doing that! Stop acting like there aren’t serious issues here. It isn’t just me! Quit being in denial. Please do something and for goodness sakes, say something!”

It took a few years after his death for the panic attacks to hit full force—and when they did—I knew I needed help. I knew I was going to have to face things I had been in denial about. That is when I went on my journey to go after God like I had never done before. I knew deep down inside that I needed His truth in my life. I also knew I needed a counselor who could guide me and show me truth. Thankfully I found a wonderful woman who wasn’t afraid to get in my face and show me God’s truth.

Here is the thing I want to explain to you. We are all born into different types of environments. Because of the things that happen to us or are said to us, we can easily fall into the trap of believing lies that aren’t true about ourselves. I was spending time with the Lord yesterday and He impressed upon me to write down the lies that I have believed. I would like to share a few with you. “I need to make everyone happy.” “I just need to work harder.” “I am all alone.” “There isn’t anyone who can help me.” “There isn’t anyone who is going to come to my rescue.” “I am trapped and helpless.” “I am always going to live in fear.”

Lies and wrong thinking can easily get ingrained in you and cause you to feel utterly hopeless.  God has shown me that the majority of my thoughts were not from Him—they were from the enemy. All those lies and thoughts were sown into the fabric of my upbringing. I can’t speak for my brother, but chances are he had a lot of the same thoughts. Of course, I didn’t realize how much those thoughts affected me until later in my life.

I realized that there was a lying spirit inside me that wanted to destroy me—and almost did. I had to go through all the lies that I believed and command them to leave. I had to write them down and renounce them in my life. Now, they didn’t leave without a fight and sometimes they come back—but when they do—I have to go to the Lord and realign myself under His authority and renounce them again. (There are some pesky ones that like to try to get back in!)

The one lie that got me more than anything was the lie that God wouldn’t want a messed up kid like me. That one brings tears to my eyes because I kind of think my brother thought the same thing. If you have ever thought that way, it simply isn’t true. You need to stop that thinking right now. I want you picturing God whispering in your ear, “I love hot messes like you! In fact, I think you are a beautiful hot mess and I love you! You are my specialty! I want to take all your messes and make beauty from them. I am going to love you and help you.”

The lies the I mentioned earlier are from my past, they are not going to define my future. “Heartbreaking seasons can certainly grow me but were never meant to define me.” TerKeurst We must be bold and take the lies that we have believed and get rid of them.

I can say that I no longer wish I had a decent relationship with my Dad. I had to say goodbye to that fantasy in order for me to have a thriving relationship with my Heavenly Father. I had to give up what I thought I wanted and turn to God and say, “If this relationship isn’t what you want for me, then I don’t want it.” There are some relationships that aren’t healthy for us and God wants something even better for us. We just need to let them go and give them to God because He is the only One who who can fulfill our desires and dreams.

Listen, I know how hard it is to overcome lies and doubts and hopelessness. It is a fight! When you have an upbringing like I did, it is an uphill battle. It has taken me years to deal with a lot of issues. I had to become determined not to let Satan win. There were days that I didn’t want to live—but I also knew that killing myself was not what God wanted me to do either. 

The only way I have been able to move forward one day at a time is focusing on the character of God. God is good. His plans are good. C. S. Lewis says, “We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.” (How true!) 

I am going to tell you that my biggest fear has always been that I would end up like my brother. I have been scared to death that I would end up so mentally ill that no medication or treatment would be able to help me. I saw him suffer so much and nothing helped him. I have to renounce that lie and remember that I am not my brother. I am not going to fall for that lie! I have to fill my mind with scripture and the truth of who God says I am. 

If you are suffering, please get some help. Find people who can pray for you and find a counselor who can help you with your issues. The best way to get to know the character of God is to read the Psalms. Immerse yourself in God’s word. Spend time with Him. Talk to Him and tell Him how you feel. Ask Him to help you see the truth about yourself and Him. I want you to see how much you are loved by the God of the Universe!

I am going to leave you with some scripture that I pray will be helpful to you. Keep reading His word and claiming HIs promises! (I am doing the same!) Until next time…

Psalm 16:1-2 “Keep me safe, O God, for I come to You for refuge. Every good thing I have comes from You. You are my Master.”

Psalm 16:8-9 “I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me. No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice. My body rests in safety.”

Psalm 16:11 “You show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.”

Psalm 37:23-24 “The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds Him with His hand.”

*Thank you Dyan Larmey for pointing me towards the right counselor. Thank you Marcia Mills for your countless hours of counseling, prayers and truth.

*This picture represents two kids who were “beautiful hot messes” in God’s eyes. (Gotta love the 70’s style!)

I started refinishing furniture when I was in my twenties. (I am a trash to treasure kind of  girl.) I just love taking old pieces and giving them a new look. Whether it is a coat of paint, stain, or new hardware—I love to take old furniture and make it beautiful. And if you think about it—that is what God is doing with us on a daily basis. He is making us new.

Isaiah 43:18-19 “But forget all that —it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.”

I don’t know about you, but I want the Lord to redo me and make me into the best possible version of myself. I know that being an open vessel to Him is key to that change. I want to be willing to do the things the Lord asks of me. “Offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to Him as instruments of righteousness…Offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.” Romans 6:13; 12:1

A piece of furniture isn’t human, but it is there ready for me to work on. I also want to ready myself for the Lord to do His work in me. John Eldredge says it best in Moving Mountains. “First, they consecrated themselves. Meaning, they dedicated themselves afresh to God; they renounced every way they had wandered from Him; they presented their lives, their gifting, and their calling completely to Jesus, to be filled again with His Spirit, to be His and His alone.”

“It is the fresh act of dedicating yourself —or your home, a relationship, a job, your sexuality, whatever needs God’s grace—deliberately and intentionally to Jesus, bringing it fully into His kingdom and under His rule.” Eldredge  I am trying to do this on a daily basis. I am intentionally aligning myself with God and asking Him to be the authority in my life because He knows far better than I do the best way to live my days. I am giving Him authority over my house, my husband, my children, my blog, my job, my schedule, my health, my finances, and even my car and everything else I can think of every day. I know this might sound extreme to you, but this is what it means to align myself to Him. I like to think of it as being under the umbrella of His care.

When I am redoing a piece of furniture, I want it to be beautiful. I want others to see the beauty that I do. I am the craftsman that is changing that piece of furniture. I like to think of God as the Master Craftsman of me. I am in the process of being made beautiful by the God of the Universe. My job is to let Him do whatever needs to be done in me. But, sometimes I don’t like the sanding that has to be done in order to make me look good. (OUCH!)

As I write, I dedicate my blog to the Lord. I ask the Holy Spirit to give me the words He wants me to say. I also dedicate my computer, my chair that I sit in, my bedroom and my house because that is where I am when I am working on my blog. I bring it under the umbrella of His care. “Consecrate yourselves for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.” Joshua 3:5

God is in the business of doing amazing things! I want to be a part of His work. I still struggle with focusing on what isn’t happening instead of what is happening. It is a battle and I must keep my mind on what scripture says instead of how I feel. I need to be listening to the Holy Spirit instead of myself. (I have a tendency to be a bit negative with myself!)

When I watch episodes of “Fixer Upper” I am amazed at what Chip and Joanna Gaines are able to do in homes that people pick to renovate. (I love watching that show!) They get a vision of how they want to transform their houses—and then go in and do the work they need to do. Sometimes the houses are in pretty bad shape—but after the work is done— that house is even more beautiful than it was at the beginning. Again, that is what God does in us. “And they were astonished beyond measure, saying, “He has done all things well. He even makes the deaf hear and the mute speak.” Mark 7:37

In order for God to work in us, we have to remain in HIm. John 15:4-11  That is why I dedicate my days to HIm. Listen, I am not perfect at this. There are many times that I wake up and get so busy with my day that I forget to give it to Him. There are many times I jump into projects without praying first about them. (I am a work in progress.) But, I am really trying to be different this year and I am asking the Lord to help me change. (I am a first born child. Need I say more?)

This is what I want to say—I have had a lot of bad things happen to me. Abuse has changed me. For forty years, I ran away from it and denied it. It took my mind and body falling apart to make me deal with it. It took years of counseling, reading, praying and God’s hand on my life to get me where I am today. I have given the bad things to God and asked Him to make something beautiful out of them.

The difficulties I have experienced, have made me into who I am. I have laid my abuse at the feet of Jesus and asked Him to use it for His glory.  But, it took me years to get where I am today. Trauma affects all of us differently because we are made differently. How I react to something is going to be different than how someone else reacts. That is how we are wired.

I sometimes still feel the effects of the abuse. My body can get scared in an instant especially when someone like a doctor or dentist is hovering over me. I get scared when someone has power over me because the person I should have been able to trust the most, abused his power. I immediately go to God and ask Him to help me deal with my feelings. He is always there for me.

I will be a “Fixer Upper” until the day I die. Some rooms have been renovated and others are still being worked on. Like I said, I am a work in progress. But, I couldn’t have a better person working on me than my Heavenly Father who knows me and loves me better than anyone else on this earth. That is why I need to remain under His care.

I want to give you a verse that has helped me deal with all the bad things that have happened in my life. It helps me put things in perspective. “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” Genesis 50:20

The man that said those words was Joseph. You can read about his life in chapters 37-50 of Genesis in the Bible. I have studied the life of Joseph on and off for years. Each time I read and study about him, I still come to the same conclusion. God works through suffering. God works through abuses and God works through unfair situations. Joseph rose to power in Egypt because God was with him. He had a chance to lash back at his brothers, but he chose to show them love and forgiveness. (He kind of messed with them a bit, but who can blame him?) He chose to take the high road and honor God.

My father is no longer alive. But, I have looked at his picture and said the words from Genesis 50:20 to his face. I have had more than one abuser and I have said it to his face as well. I have witnessed first hand that God brings good out of horrible situations. If you are struggling with the aftermath of abuse, I encourage you to give it to God. Say that verse out loud to whoever mistreated you. God is working. God is able to make beauty out of our ashes. Jesus came to heal the broken-hearted and to set us free! 

Until next time dear friends….

Hello friends!!! We have been covered in snow in southern Indiana. At first it was beautiful, but now it is getting on my last nerve! When my girls were living at home, I loved snow days. They would have their friends over and play out in the snow—come inside to get warm—then go back out again. I loved having all the kids here and I enjoyed being with them so much! But now that they aren’t here, it isn’t quite the same. Snow days are different for me now. Instead of playing in the snow, I get to spend more time with Jesus and that is definitely a good thing.

In my last post, I mentioned that I wanted to be a space for God in 2018. Jeremiah 33:3 says, “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” This verse makes me want to put on my Indiana Jones hat and have God reveal to me great and unsearchable things. I feel like an explorer on a journey to uncover wonderful mysteries about God that I know are going to change me. (I love a good mystery!)

My husband discovered a book called “The Book of Mysteries” by Jonathan Cahn about a year and a half ago. He told me how much he liked it and that I should read it. At that time, I couldn’t quite fit it in because of everything else I was reading and studying. But now, I have the time to sit down and read it. I can already see that this book is in front of me at just the right time in my life. (God’s timing is perfect!) 

Day 1 in this book talks about being an open vessel, which I think is very relatable to being an open space. Cahn says that an open vessel has no limitations. He states, “Only by opening yourself up can you come to know that which you don’t already know. And only by becoming an open vessel can you contain that which is greater than yourself. The truth is always greater than our knowing. Your mind and heart are finite, clay jars. But the truth has no end. God has no end. The Eternal is infinite….always flowing.”

I want to open myself up to God so He can become greater in me. The greater He becomes in me the more I am able to function in His power and strength. I must decrease so He can increase. I used to be afraid of God becoming powerful in me. When you have been abused by someone, it is hard to think of anyone being in power over you. I had to get to the point that I could trust God and that He would never hurt me.

That is why God’s word is so important to me. We have to know what He says so we can know who He is. I see a dangerous trend happening in so many churches today because they aren’t teaching God’s word. (Big mistake!!!) How can we have a relationship with someone we know nothing about? You simply can’t. We can’t rely on others to tell us about God. We have to read and spend time with Him. We have to talk to Him. He doesn’t talk back in an audible voice, but He speaks to our hearts through His word and He tells us what we need to know through His word. 

“So open now your mind, your heart, and your life. For it is only the open vessel and an open heart that can contain the infinity of God.” Cahn It seems like I am forever fighting old habits. It is so easy for me to go into performer mode without talking with God first. There are days when I flat out forget to talk to Him first thing in the morning. My mind goes to my agenda or my phone before it goes to God. I am praying that will change this year. God needs to be the first person I encounter each and every day in order for me to be an open vessel. That phone or agenda is not going to give me a fulfilled life—Only God can do that.

Acts 17:28 “For In Him we live and move and have our being. As some of your own poets have said, “For we are His offspring.” I think I missed this verse somehow in my life or I didn’t pay much attention to it. I knew I existed because of Him, but the wording of the verse makes me pause and think. There is a purpose to my existence and I don’t want to miss out on anything God has planned for me.

“To not only live for Him, but to live your life from Him, to live from His living, to move from His moving, to act from His actions, to feel from His heart, to be from His being, and to become who you are from who He is … I AM.” Cahn I can hardly take it all in. My mind goes to Jesus. He lived, moved, acted, spoke and felt exactly like God because He was God. God loved us so much to show us who He truly was through the life of Jesus. He gave us the best visual representation of Himself. So when you feel like you don’t know God or understand who He is, look at Jesus. That is who God is. It is so easy to forget that little fact.

And, even better, we have the Holy Spirit inside us to help us live, move, act, speak and feel like God. We just need to yield ourselves to the Spirit. (Not so easy is it?) When someone comes along and says horrible things or treats you with disrespect or lies to your face, it takes every ounce of energy to survive those moments. That’s when my mind needs to respond, “Lord, help me react the way I should,’’ instead of, “Who do you think you are acting like that or talking to me in that way?”

It is so easy to fall into old habits and it is way to easy to go to the dark side. Feelings can take over and control you in an instant. “But you must choose to live in the supernatural and walk in the will and power of Him who makes all things new. Live on earth in the power of heaven…and you will walk in the newness of life…and the year ahead will be year of change.” Cahn

Every year I say I want to change—I think we all do. But, this year I want to experience a radical change. I want to open myself up to God and see things I haven’t seen before. I want to give God each and every day of my life so I can accomplish His purposes. I need to want what He wants more than what I want. My agenda to get things done needs to take a backseat to what God wants me to get done.

My days need to have purpose—All of ours do. But, I think that I am finally realizing the fact that I must be more intentional than I have been in the past. I must intentionally give each and every day to God. “You appoint your days in God to bring what is good. You consecrate them for the purposes of God. And then you use your days to accomplish those purposes. Don’t let your days determine your life. Let your life determine your days. And don’t just let your days go by. Prepare them, that they might become vessels of blessing and life. Appoint your days…for the purposes of the Most High.”Cahn

Prayer is the key here. I must go to Him every day before I start to function and give Him the day because I want to be a vessel of blessing and life. What He wants is more important than what I want because He has the heavenly perspective that I lack. I can’t see what He can see.

I have to be honest with you–I love to get things done. It makes me feel so good to check things off a list. But, I can easily lose sight of God and His will for me because of that list. That list can become obsessive to me. Might sound weird to you, but it is a struggle. (OCD runs in the family!) I have to remind myself that God just wants me to open myself up to Him. He wants me to give Him my days so He can accomplish His work in me. I have to be intentional about giving it to Him.

All of our days are numbered. We don’t know how much time we have on this earth. My hope is for all of us to remember that fact and turn to the Lord and say, “Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12

Until next time friends….

*The girls pictured above are my three beautiful daughters–Sarah, Rebekah and Leah.

I have been reading though some of my posts from 2017 and what a year it has been. But, when I look back at all the things I was able to do and places I have gone, the things that stand out the most to me are the times I have learned something about God. He remains my constant friend and Father through the good and bad times. He doesn’t change and His words are true.      

When God told me in 2015 that He wanted me to write a blog, I said, “No!” I told Him that I couldn’t do it. I told Him that I wasn’t equipped to do it. I told Him He needed to find someone else. There was no way I was going to be able to do it. Well—because He can be a tad persistent—He didn’t allow my answer to be the final answer. It took about six months for me to realize He was right and I surrendered to His calling.

So here I am–a little over two years into this–and I still question Him and He keeps responding, “This is what I want you to do.” So, I keep writing and sharing. There have been many times I wanted to stop because I couldn’t see why anyone would want to hear what I had to say. Then, I would run into someone who told me they enjoyed reading my blog. (God knows I need encouragement!) And to be honest, we all need encouragement doing what we do.

With social media, it is so easy to get wrapped up in all the “likes.” And, it is so easy to get discouraged when you write something that you think is helpful and then only a few people respond. I have to remind myself that I am writing for the Lord and not for myself. As long as my heart is where it should be, that is all that matters. But, boy oh boy is that hard! You want people to like what you write.

But then I came across this comment from Ann Voskamp. “There is no need to produce or perform or perfect—simply become a place for God. That is all!” That statement has had a huge impact on me. So,I have decided that in 2018, I want to simply become a place for God. I want to quit trying to produce, perform and perfect because it has brought me nothing but stress, anxiety and panic. I want to sit before the Lord and just be what He wants me to be. 

I am sitting in my chair—where I normally write—and I am closing my eyes and asking the Lord, “How do I become a place for you?” I had asked Him into my life when I was twelve years old, but I don’t think I had ever thought about becoming a place for Him. And, what does that mean?

Voskamp states, “When you are a space to receive whatever the will of God is in this moment as grace, you take hold of God. You most take hold of God when you simply receive Him in this moment taking hold of you. Taking hold of your unsure hand. Taking hold of your unseen needs. Taking hold of your unknown stress. He wants to take hold of you, to be with you. He wants to carry you, to be carried by you, to have relationship with you.”

It is dawning on me that in order to be a place for God, I need to be able to receive what God wants for me. There is a reason why God chose Mary to give birth to Jesus. She had the right heart and attitude to receive what God wanted for her. When the angel approached her to tell her about the baby she was to carry, her response was, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” Luke 1:38

Just think about that for a minute. I would like to say I would have responded in that way, but who am I kidding? I am embarrassed for all the times I have argued with God. I have doubted Him. I have tried to run and hide from Him. I haven’t listened to Him. I have said, “NO!” to the God of the Universe. (Who do I think I am?) I have even gotten mad and angry, which is probably how I would have responded to that angel! I am so glad the Lord has been so kind and patient with me. (I haven’t been struck by lightening yet!) And, I like to think He laughs at me, but I know I need to make some changes on how I respond to Him.

Maybe I have missed out on things because I haven’t responded to the Lord with a servant’s attitude. It breaks my heart to think that—but it is probably true. But I can change because the Holy Spirit resides in me. I can become a space to receive the Lord’s will for my life.

Part of my problem is that I have never been a good receiver. It has always been easier for me to give than receive. It is the curse of the performer-pleaser in me. But, I am ready to change. I am ready to be a better receiver. I don’t want to miss out on the gifts God has for me. When you think about it—in order to get a gift—you have to be able to receive it. If you refuse to receive, then you miss out on the gift. Well, I don’t want to miss out on any gifts that God has for me.

I know that being a receiver is out of my comfort zone. It is almost too simple. I think to myself, “You mean, I only need to come before the Lord and receive? He actually wants to give to me? All I need to do is ask?” John Wesley writes, “Nothing is more repugnant to capable, reasonable people than grace.” Ouch!

“Your greatest gift is not your gifts, but your surrendered yes to be a space for God.” Voskamp So, I am going to surrender, and say yes to be a space for God in 2018. Being a space for God really takes the pressure off me when I think about it. When I close my eyes and say, “Let me be a space for you,” I can have peace because I know that He is the one that is doing the work, not me! Oh, what a relief that is!

A little over a week ago, God was urging me to do some things. Instead of my usual reluctance or procrastination, I decided to follow through on His leading. I can’t tell you the joy it brought me to see Him work. I need to remember on a daily basis that I need to stay in communication with Him because I will miss out on so many wonderful things if I don’t.

So, I am going to surrender my agenda, my dreams, my plans and my days to be a space for God. I am going to let myself off the hook and watch God work. His plans are far better than I could ever dream or imagine anyway. The pleaser, performer and perfecter in me is going to have to get in the backseat. I want Jesus to be the driver and I want to be in the seat next to Him. I want to be at His right hand because that is where I am supposed to be.

I am having this visual illustration right now of driving in a car. Jesus is at the wheel and I am right beside Him. The kids—perfection, performance and pleasing—are trying to get my attention in the back. (Which is what most kids do!) And I am asking them to be quiet, so I can listen to what Jesus is telling me. I need to keep those kids in the backseat and let Jesus take the wheel in my life. 

I would love for you to join me on this adventure. I want to encourage you to be a space for God and allow Him to do the work in your life. I have a feeling He is going to do some amazing things through us and in us. I can’t wait to see what 2018 brings! Until next time…..