Giant #1 “Self-sufficiency”

Since I have several giants in my life, I have decided to talk about each one with you. I am going to name them and then ask Jesus to take each one down in my life. If you would like to join me and do the same thing with your giants, please do! I can’t wait to see what the Lord is going to do in our lives. So, here goes. My first giant has been with me as long as I can remember. I am really sick and tired of it being in my life. It has been looming over me way too long and I am ready for it to die!!! I am going to call this giant “Self-sufficiency”.

Every single day of my life I have battled this one. I know it stems from having to take care of and defend myself all the time when I was a child. Louie states in Goliath Must Fall, “We need to understand our dependency on the all-sufficiency of Jesus Christ. Our change is more about trusting and less about trying. We’ve got to make this paradigm shift in our minds. Christ always does the real work. Christ is the real force to change.”

You see it is much easier for me to “try” than to “trust”. Trying involves my own work. Trusting involves the work of someone else. I know I will come through for me, but waiting for someone else to come through for me is a different story. I need to make the shift in my mind that Christ is the One doing the real work and He is the force behind the change. I need to lean on God’s truth. 2 Peter 1:3 “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness.”

The bottom line for me is that I need to trust God and know He will come through for me. David knew who God was. He claimed God’s divine power when he went up against Goliath. He knew that God would give him everything he needed to defeat Goliath. He was ready for battle and he didn’t waver. So, I ask myself these questions, ”Why can’t I be like that? Why do I waver and why do I fear?” I think I finally have an answer to those questions. I am not living in the reality of what God did for me by sending Jesus to die on the cross for my sins. The reality is that Jesus once and for all killed the giant of death that day and killed the giants that enslave me. The reality is that God doesn’t want giants in my life. He wants them gone and He wants to bring me freedom. He isn’t my problem. My thinking is my problem. I still struggle with the concept of a father who is for me and not against me because I lived most of my life with a father who was against me. I keep comparing the two and I have to quit doing that.

Louie mentions that our giant is dead but our giant can still be deadly. “Satan was defeated on the cross. Jesus has won the victory. End of the story. But Satan can still wriggle and squirm and make the hairs on our necks stand up. If we step on Satan’s fangs, he can still poison us and cause some serious harm.” I am allowing what my earthly father did to me to control my thinking. I need to look at Jesus and see Him sling those rocks against my giants. He is the giant slayer for me. I need to ask Him to do the work for me and quit trying to do it on my own. That is why I keep failing. I can’t do it. He is the only One who can.

I wasn’t able to stop my father from hurting me. I kept trying and trying, but I couldn’t stop him. That is why I struggle so much with seeing Jesus stopping my giants. My Dad was dangerous. There were only a few people that saw that in him because he was so charming. Satan uses the fact that I couldn’t stop him and the fear that goes with that, to keep me in bondage. But, I realize that I can’t allow him to do this to me anymore. My Dad is gone. Jesus is my giant slayer and He wants me to be free of the fear and danger that I had with my Dad. He doesn’t want it to have power over me any more. He wants me to trust the work He did on the cross for me. He wants me to trust Him. That part of my life is over and I need to focus on the work God wants to do in me.

So, I need to resist the temptation to fight my battles on my own. I need to submit myself to God. I need to resist the devil so he will flee from me.  James 4:7 I need to fall at the feet of Jesus and ask Him to slay that giant so it will be gone from me. I need to draw closer to God more each day. Giant slaying is up to Jesus, not me. I need to trust Him to do it! I have to tell you that I am worn out trying to fight these giants on my own. I am completely exhausted! Every single day of my life was a battle with my Dad. Louie states, “Jesus invites us to rest, to trust, to depend on Him.” I want rest. I want to trust and I want to depend on Him.

I have this learned behavior inside of me that immediately goes into fight or flight mode. I have been doing it most of my life. That learned behavior must die. I am asking Jesus to help me pause, turn to Him, rest in Him, and trust Him to fight the battle. I simply have to change because my poor body can’t take it anymore. God needs to be huge in my life. The hard part for me is learning a new behavior. Teaching an old dog new tricks is hard! God is the only one who can change me.

So, instead of me looking at that giant looming over me, I need to look at it’s severed head. I need to picture Jesus holding the head of “self-sufficiency”. I hear Him telling me that He has conquered it and it doesn’t have power over me any more. I need to believe Him and trust Him and rest in HIm. I am going to fill my mind with as much scripture as my brain can hold and keep telling myself that Jesus is the God who slays giants. He is my giant slayer and He loves me. I honestly haven’t been able to understand and look at that severed head until now. I just had an “Aha!” moment. I finally get it! (Sometimes it takes me awhile) It’s hard to wrap my brain around the goodness of God.

This next part from Louie is just so good, I have to share it. “Today, Jesus says to us, No, we’re going to finish off that thinking once and for all, and I am going to prove that I am the one true Messiah and that my Father is the one true God. He is just and the Justifier. He’s the One who can save, the only One who can bring your heart to life again. My Father is the only deliverer, the only One who can bring salvation to His people. He’s the Only one who can break the chains. He’s the only one who can open the doors. He’s the only One who can shut down the lies. He is God and there is no other. He is a God of grace, a God of kindness, a God of compassion, a God of love, a God who would sacrifice His own Son for you and me. He is the Lord, and there is no other God.” I am going to put this on a 3×5 card and carry it around with me.

I know that Satan, in the form of my giant, will try to come at me, but I am going to rely on God to fight that battle for me. I am not self-sufficient any more because Jesus is sufficient to fight my giants and kill them for me. He is much better at it than I am. I have failed at fighting all of my life and that’s ok. It is a lesson learned that God is more than able to take care of me, if I will just let Him. Louie says, “When you believe that Jesus is bigger than whatever it is you’re facing, something is going to shift in you.” I am ready for the shift and I can feel it already. I want that for you too. I want freedom for all of us. Thank you for reading this post and joining me in the journey. Giant #2 is next. Until next time…..

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