Most of my life I tried to find satisfaction in what I did, in what I had, in my marriage, in my children and in my accomplishments. I wanted to perform so I could hear people tell me how good I was at something. I had this insatiable desire to please everyone. I spent most of my life desperate for recognition. I wanted to hear “well done”, “good job”, “this is wonderful”. I know this stemmed from me wanting my Dad to recognize me. Continue reading “I Can Get Satisfaction”
As I look over my journals, I am blown away by God’s ability to speak to me. I have pages and pages of conversations with Him. Some of them are very hard to share with you and others aren’t. The more comfortable I felt with Him, the more honest I became. One of the books that I read that helped me immensely with intimacy with God is called, “The Practice of the Presence of God” by Brother Lawrence.
Brother Lawrence had a profound impression of God’s power and providence. He believed that we needed to continually talk to God throughout the day in order to be constantly aware of His presence. He also felt like we should derive great joy by just being His children. So, I had to ask myself the question, “Do I derive great joy by being in His presence or by just being His child?” At that time in my life, I must say that I was struggling in that area of my life. When I was actively speaking with the Lord, I was angry and confused. Joy eluded me. I wanted joy but couldn’t find it anywhere. Continue reading “In His Presence”
This is my favorite time of year. I love the sunshine, the green grass, the blue skies and my personal favorite the colors of the trees and the flowers. I love watching things grow and seeing the beauty of what God created. Gardening is therapy for me. I love to plant flowers and take care of them. If I could own every flower there is, I would!
When I picture myself alone with Jesus, I am in a garden with Him. We sit on a bench and talk. The beauty of the garden is all around us. I feel safe here and very happy. I have realized that this is where He wants me to be with Him. He wants all of us to be with Him in the garden. Gary Moon says a lot of amazing things about the garden. I would like to share some of his thoughts with you. Continue reading “In the Garden”
I have battled so many things but the biggest was accepting the love that Jesus had for me. I just couldn’t grasp it! I knew I loved Jesus but I was having a hard time accepting His love for me. In the New Testament, you see Jesus doing life with his disciples. He ate with them, performed miracles with them, taught with them, loved them and shared life with them. He poured himself into them. He had relationships with each man. He knew their strengths and weaknesses and loved them through all their mistakes and issues. He never gave up on them. Continue reading “Jesus Loves Me”
When I was growing up I always felt like I was different from everyone else. Kids made fun of me for having red hair and freckles. I was called “freckle-faced strawberry” and told “I’d rather be dead than red on the head” by kids at school. As I got older, I felt like I was living in the shadow of my father who was a legendary football coach. Guys were scared to death to come near me because of my Dad’s reputation of losing his temper on the football field. Because of my father and being picked on, I felt alone and different. Continue reading “The Girl in the Mirror”
journey to joy 