Author: foolforchrist117

I have been painting furniture for several years. I actually started when I was in my twenties and still love to do it today. I love taking an old piece of furniture that looks like a hopeless cause and turn it into something beautiful. The other day while I was painting, I was praying about several things and I had a revelation. As much as I enjoy working on furniture, God also enjoys working on me and my problems. You see, a lot of times when I go to God with my issues, I feel like I am bothering Him—especially when it is the same thing over and over again. But, that just isn’t true! I have a God that is actually waiting for me to come to Him so He can help me because He wants to show me His glory!

I will even go a step further and say that the Lord is delighted when I come to Him. Psalm 149:4 (I like to picture a big smile on His face.) And, He actually takes pleasure in meeting my needs. I have also been learning that God can do so much more than I ask or imagine. He wants to do more than my brain can comprehend. I have had issues in my life that have just about killed me. My anxiety, depression, panic attacks, abuse from my father and others, brother’s suicide, etc. I could go on, but there is something I want to share with you that I am learning about God. I think Priscilla Shirer says it best. “Yes, God in His providence has ascribed deep value to you and to me. And yes, our lives do matter. Our concerns do affect Him. He has chosen by His great mercy to elevate us to a height of dignity and significance.” I don’t know about you, but I have struggled with feeling significant and having dignity. The fact that the God of the Universe thinks I am significant is sometimes hard for me to grasp.

She goes on to say, “But let’s be crystal clear about things—ultimately, our lives are all and completely about Him. We exist for His fame. We are examples of His patience and long-suffering. We bear witness to what His love is like and can do. We honor His name with our living, breathing presence. We’re here for Him. We’re here for His pleasure. For His praise and His glory.”

Here’s the deal. God is telling me and He is telling you that He wants to be involved in our lives. When I don’t ask Him to help me, I am missing out on actively participating in what He is doing for my good and for His glory. Of course He is God and He can help me anyway, but the thing is—He is a relational God and He wants me to come to Him and ask for His help. My first reaction needs to be to go to Him in prayer instead of calling or texting a friend. He wants to be the first one in my life that I turn to because He is able to help me. So, God first, then phone or text a friend. (I feel like I am on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire”)

Now, this next part that I am going to share is the absolute best part of having a relationship with God. I love it when I read something and it makes me look at Him in a different light. Priscilla Shirer states, “But just imagine—little old us and our little old needs— being commissioned by Almighty God for the purpose of giving tribute to His power. That’s strong. It changes the whole color scheme. This problem that used to clash with everything, stick out like a sore thumb—it was all you could see. But when you turn your head a certain way now and change your perspective a bit, while it’s still very noticeable, it looks like it might hold some promise here. It’s a glory maker, not just a troublemaker.”

I don’t know about you but I am encouraged to change my perspective by that statement. My issues are glory makers not just troublemakers. When I look at them that way, it kind of calms me down. It makes me want to sit back and watch and wait on God instead of getting bent out of shape. You see, my brain has been conditioned to get upset at myself and at God when my troubles keep bothering me. But now, if I can just calm down and get the right perspective about those issues, then I can sit back and wait for God to work in me and in my issues.

It’s kind of like watching a super hero go to work. When God gets involved, He is going to get Him some glory! He is going to wield His sword and shield and go to battle for us. He is going to use His power to fight for us. The problems or issues we have are going to be dealt with by Him. He is on our side and He won’t quit until His job is done. He really is the only One who is equipped to fight the battle and He knows exactly what to do.

I have my own personal super hero. I just want to lay everything at His feet and say, “Go get ‘em God! You do what you need to do. I need to quit telling You what to do and let you do it your way because your way is far better than mine. Go way above and beyond what I can even imagine. I still have a hard time conceiving the fact that you love doing things for me. Thank you for your goodness, your patience, your love, your work and your forgiveness. Thank you that each day is a new day in your eyes. You don’t keep a record of my wrongs. You just want me to look to you for help. You want me to come to you with my issues. You are ready to work on my behalf so you can show me your glory!”

Life is not about me. I am not supposed to get the glory. I will take the compliment, but it is God who gets the glory in me. He gets the credit for telling a very frightened woman 18 years ago that He was going to take her on a journey to freedom. And when I began that journey, He told me He was going to use it for His glory. I had no idea what that meant at the time and I certainly had no idea that I would be writing a blog. He has taken me through some very dark times and He has loved me every step of the way. He has taught me so much! He has been working on my behalf every single day even when I didn’t ask Him to. There have been many days that I didn’t want to live, but He has gotten me through those days and I am so glad He has or I would have missed out on so much. He is truly everything to me.

Yesterday, I celebrated 58 years on this earth. I am a testimony to what God can do in a person. Honestly, all the horrible things that have happened in my life have drawn me closer to Him. Now, I am also going to admit that I have had several conversations with Him over what He has allowed. I have been angry, hurt, defiant, and I have had a ton of questions. (I am kind of a rebel, but in a good way!) But, I know deep down inside that He is God and I am not. He is also good. He is large and in charge and I need to trust Him. I also need to remind myself that my problems are going to bring Him glory! Hallelujah! (Or as Madea says, “Halleluyer!” I don’t really know how to spell that one!)

I would like to leave you with one more gem from Priscilla. “What a miracle that we can trust in God’s ability, that we can sit or stand in this place and be part of what He’s doing all over the place, that we can stretch out our faith, and even our need, and give Him the honor, the glory—the tribute—He deserves. Forever and ever. To all generations. Amen.” We praise you Lord! Until next time…….

A week ago I got to witness one of God’s majestic wonders. The eclipse was an amazing display of who God is and what He is capable of. I had so much fun watching people reacting on TV  as they saw the different stages of the eclipse and especially when it was in the “totality” phase. I was hoping that someone would mention God, but sadly I didn’t hear His name. But, as I was watching the eclipse through my special glasses, I began thinking about what I had been reading lately about the “totality” of God. What I have learned is so exciting to me that I just have to share it with you!

I have been reading God Is Able by Priscilla Shirer. She actually has a chapter in her book called “Totality”. Because I have always struggled with my self-image, there have been many times I didn’t want to bother God with my issues. I felt like they were stupid or insignificant, so I wouldn’t talk to Him about my troubles or ask for His help. Can anyone relate to that?? Now the funny thing is, He is God and He knows what those issues are, but He still wants us to tell Him and ask for His help. The truth is, “He looks to the ends of the earth and see everything under the heavens.” Job 28:24

Priscilla states, “What I’m saying is—and you will find this to be true, if you haven’t already—God knows about the little things. Your little things. Because when they concern you, they’re not little things anymore. The things that trouble you, no matter how unimportant or trivial they might be to your spouse, children, friends, or parents, are important to God.” After I read this, I just had to let it soak in my brain. My God cares about all the things that concern me. All means totally! He cares about everything that concerns me. I have to be reminded of this fact because it is so easy for me to think that my issues are trivial. It is so easy for me to dismiss my feelings and think that I am being stupid. God is telling me that He cares about everything that I care about. (I need to get this fact through my thick skull once and for all!)

When you see something like the eclipse, it is so easy to believe there is a God. When you look all around at creation it is easy to see that there is a God. When you see a baby being born you know there is a God. I have my issues seeing God in the day to day and in all the problems. Now, before you get too judgmental of me, I want to explain what I am learning. (It will make you feel better!) I am realizing that because I haven’t felt significant enough to involve God in everything, I haven’t asked Him or conversed with Him to help me in a lot of situations. That isn’t His fault. It is mine. He is ready and willing to help me, but I have to go to Him and talk to Him. I know He has intervened several times without me asking, but I am missing out on even more because I am not involving Him in my every day life.

Here is the deal. God can do it all. Nothing escapes His attention. He is completely and totally in charge. I think my problem and maybe your problem is believing that God cares about all the little things that matter to us. Priscilla has a way of making me realize some very important truths. She states, “Sometimes our problem is not that we won’t believe Him for the supernatural and amazing, but that we don’t believe He cares about the routine and everyday. He doesn’t exist only in the stratosphere of extravagant need. His ability comes all the way down to the ground. Where you are. Every day.”

He is right here with us. He is on the ground with us. He is with us every single second of every single day doing life with us. He wants to help us in the trivial things in life. He knows the number of hairs on my head. He knows how many freckles I have on my body. (and I have a lot!) He knows how much I love to watch old movies. He knows the music that makes me happy and one of them is “Happy” by Pharrell Williams. (I just had to play it on my phone) He knows how much I wish I could dance like the people in that video. He knows what makes me mad and brings me joy. He knows how much I love to laugh and have fun. He knows how much I care about people knowing Him. He is a personal God and loves all of us to pieces. I am reminding myself of these facts as I write. God wants me to remember these things as much as He wants you to remember them.

My problem has always been that I have limited my expectations of what God can do because of what I have experienced with people I have interacted with my whole life. Maybe you have done the same thing. I didn’t have the best interactions with my earthly father so it affected the way I have interacted with my heavenly Father. I have been trying to get over the way I view God most of my life. I need to quit comparing the two in my mind because there really is no comparison!

This next paragraph from Priscilla is probably one of the best things that I have read that helps me see how much God wants to be involved in our lives. I need to share it with you. “But as the Bible says, ‘God is not a man, that He should lie.’ Numbers 23:19 When He tells us to ask—as He does on multiple occasions in Scripture—He’s not just trying to sound neighborly. He’s trying to involve us in His blessing. He’s wanting us to experience the fullness of our inheritance in Christ. He’s using a prayer transaction to build trust and relationship. When we take Him up on His invitation to ask for what we need—both the big things and the small things—one of the greatest things He gives us is the opportunity to recognize exactly where our help is coming from. When we request and He answers, we are enabled to know beyond any doubt that He was the One working in our experience.”

Because of the conviction that I feel and the overwhelming fact that God wants to be involved in my life every single second of every single day, I have started a prayer journal for the hundredth time. (Not kidding!) I am writing down all my prayer requests. I am talking with God about everything. I am writing it down and looking for God to do a work in me and in others. I am taking God at His word. “Now to Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us.” Ephesians 3:20  And on top of that, after each prayer I am asking Him to go way beyond what I can think or imagine. I am asking Him to do more than my limited brain can even think of! I want to see God work! I want to see Him change me and change others. I want to witness His glory! I can’t wait to see what He does in me—how He changes others—how He works in the issues I bring to Him. 

When I ask Him to be involved in my day, He is completely and totally capable of handling everything that comes my way. He is there to give me the strength I need. He is there to give me the wisdom I need. He is there to give me the words I need. I can’t rely on myself to live my life because I am not capable of handling it. I have tried to handle it way too many times without asking God for help and it has been a disaster.

So, I would like to ask you if you are willing to believe that God is able and totally capable of handling you and your problems. I would like to challenge you to keep a prayer journal and ask Him to do mighty things in you, in others and in your situations. Let’s join together in doing life with Him–talking with Him–learning from Him–watching Him work. I know He’s been waiting for us to ask and turn to Him because our God is completely and totally able! So what are you waiting for??? Go ask and talk and learn and listen. Until next time…..

“The same God who’s is saving you from hell is also willing and able to save what’s left of your nerves and your workweek.” Shirer 

It seems like we live in a world that is very negative. Yes, we have a lot of things to be negative about, but there are also things in our lives that are good and positive. Why is it so easy to be dragged down by the negative comments of others? Why is it so easy to feel pretty good about your life and then within seconds someone will make a comment and all of the goodness goes out the window? It is so easy for me to be swayed in that direction. God can be so big to me and within seconds He will shrink down to be quite small. So, the next giant that I face on a continuous basis is called “Negativity.”

I have a very good friend who has gone through a lot of things and when she is talking she will say, “God’s got this. He knows what He is doing and He will take care of it.” For years I have envied her confidence in God. I am not saying that I don’t believe that He has it all in the palm of His hands because I know He does. But, it is her confidence that I want. I get so bogged down in negativity that I can’t see past the circumstances.  I allow all the comments or feelings that I have weigh me down instead of looking at God and who He is.

The fact of the matter is that God is able. No matter what I think or feel at the moment, God is always able to take care of my issues. My focus needs to be on that fact. He has the  ability to do far more than I can imagine. My problem is that I am looking for God to do for me like a genie in a bottle. “Oh please God, if you would just …….. (I can fill in the blanks with all sorts of things that I would like for Him to do.) Being like this has done nothing but bring me doubt, confusion, negativity, frustration and anger towards God. When I focus on what He isn’t doing, I am setting myself up for trouble. I need to kick it to the curb and focus on who He is and the fact that He is a good God who is so much more than a genie in a bottle.

Are you tracking with me here?? I have to quit looking at God as the answer man. He is so much more than that. I know that because I am a “doer” makes it even harder because I want God “to do” for me. I am not saying that asking God to do things for us is wrong, but I need to have the right attitude when I go to pray. Ephesians 3:20-21 says, “Now to Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.”

I struggle with, “But I want it now!” I struggle with God’s timing. I struggle in the wait. When I take my eyes off the fact that God’s timing is perfect, I get frustrated and angry. I am like a toddler stomping my feet wanting it now! My struggle is the fact that I am focusing on the problems. The problems are getting my worship instead of Jesus. I am wanting God to go and do what I want Him to do. After all, I think my solution is the best possible solution, right? (Oh brother!) I need to be the kind of believer that knows that God’s perfect timing is everything.

So, what I need to do is grab a hold of myself and calm down. I need to make a deliberate decision to focus on God and ask Him to change my perspective. I need to focus on Him and not the problems or the situation. Priscilla Shirer says, “A mind fixed on the right thing—the right person—can change everything. When was the last time you just told your stuff to shut up and go to sleep, and then gave your full attention—deliberately and intentionally—to the living Lord? Your Father. Your caregiver. Your provider.” (I can actually say shut-up and it is okay!)

I think these next words by Priscilla are so important. “Christianity was never meant to be so intrinsic. It is extrinsic. It is all about looking outward toward Jesus, not inward at ourselves. Our enemy is the one who wants us focused on ourselves—on our humanity, frailty and need. God, however, wants us focused on Him—on His deity, His ability and His boundless power.” Does this resonate with anyone else??? I have spent most of my life being intrinsic. My focus needs to be on the One who has the power to change me. He is the only One who can handle the situation.

So, I need to learn to turn to Him automatically instead of bog myself down in my problems. I need to make a conscious decision to look through the lens of God’s power and might. I need to tell the negative voices to shut up and go away because my God’s got this! I can’t look at the problems any more. I need to look at Jesus who is always there fighting for me. I just can’t let the problems bog me down. That is exactly what Satan wants me to do.

God is able to do anything—ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING—and I need to trust His ability and willingness to do it. When I look back and see all the things He has done for me, I am amazed at what He has done. I need to focus on those things and not the things that aren’t happening. God is sovereign and I need to trust His decisions. Priscilla states, “But whether or not God chooses to do something is a question of His sovereignty, not His ability. Whether or not He will do it is His business. But believing that He can—that’s our business.” So my job is to believe that He can and then realize that He is always working on my behalf.

You see, because of my Dad and others, I haven’t had the privilege of having many people working on my behalf. That has had a huge affect on me. Scripture has helped me tremendously in this area. If you struggle in this area, I would like to share some scripture with you.

Psalm 145:17 “The Lord is righteous in all His ways and kind in all His does.”

Psalm 84:11 “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless.”

Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in His love He will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”

We are guaranteed that He is always working on our behalf. I might not understand His ways, but He is always doing what is best for us. I need to be reminded on a daily basis that my God is able. I need to focus on who God is instead of all the problems and issues. I need to remind myself that He is working on my behalf. He is able to do far more than I can even imagine.

I am going to leave you with some encouraging words by Priscilla Shirer. “But, listen, believing in Jesus—I mean really trusting Him on a practical, daily level—is supposed to be real. It’s supposed to work. It’s supposed to transform us and make us different than before. We’re supposed to “watch expectantly for the Lord,” to “wait for the God of my salvation,” fully confident with the biblical assurance of faith that “my God will hear me.” Micah 7:7

So, dear friends, I am choosing to look for Him every day as He works in my life. I am going to train my mind to focus on His words and worship Him for who He is. I am asking Him to change me into an extrinsic believer who is focused on who He is and not myself. I want to tell the giant of negativity to take a hike because my God is able and will do what is best for me.  I am praying that I can grasp how wide and long and high and deep His love is for me. Because when I can grasp it, I will have the confidence to say, “God’s got this!” Until next time……..

Photo by Rachel Mathew Photography

I have mentioned in the past how much I love movies. It is one of my favorite ways to relax. My daughter Leah and I recently watched the “Harry Potter” series. Last night as we were watching the “Order of the Phoenix,” there were great spiritual truths being given by Severus Snape. He is trying to help Harry to concentrate and focus his mind so that the dark Lord can’t get inside his head. Snape says, “Every memory you have he can use against you. Discipline your mind!” As I am sitting there watching and hearing this, I realize that this is great scriptural wisdom for us. I think our minds can be our biggest enemy. Our thoughts can control us. So, giant #4 is “The Mind.”

I have to tell you that I have had some great spiritual moments with movies. Because I am a visual person, it really helps me understand things better. I think this giant is the one that really gets to me. One of my biggest fears has been that I will lose my mind and go crazy. Watching a sibling struggle with mental illness for years and then take his life over it, has messed with my mind a lot! I have often wondered if I am going to end up the same way. When I am rational, I know that is not going to happen to me, but I have had my moments.

Watching someone you love struggle with mental illness, is not fun! You feel so helpless and there really isn’t a lot you can do. You can love them, support them, get them the help that they need and of course pray for them. I think watching David struggle with severe OCD has deeply affected me. His sickness woke the giant of fear inside me and I have been battling it ever since he committed suicide twenty years ago this month. So, if you will indulge me, I would like to talk about this issue, and hopefully help someone else out there who has struggled with wrong thinking or you love someone who struggles with it. I would like to pay tribute to my brother by enlightening and helping you. He would want that!

One of the first verses that I would like to share is 2 Corinthians 10:5. “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” There is a battle going on in our thought lives. I know first hand that my brother battled it and so do I. I have been in a wrestling match with evil thoughts. And by evil, I mean anything that is against God and His principles. I have realized recently that I have allowed some thoughts to get into my mind that are causing me great anxiety. I get so out of balance sometimes and I just need to stop and renew my mind with God’s word. I need to stop and look at His character. I just need to stop and be with Him and listen to Him.

Priscilla Shirer has a study called the Armor of God which I highly recommend. She states, “Your real enemy—the devil—wants you to ignore the spiritual reality behind the physical one. Because as long as you’re focused on what you can see with your physical eyes, he can continue to run rampant underneath the surface. The more you disregard him, the more damage he is free to do. The enemy may be invisible, but he is not fictional. He is very real, and very persistent, waging war against us constantly.”

Whenever, I get out of sorts and my anxiety kicks into full gear, I get so caught up in the emotional aspects, that I simply can’t think straight. My mind is so full of fear that my knowledge of God and His word goes out the window. Satan knows that. He knows how to get to me. I have to be aware of what he is doing to me and fight back. Sometimes, it takes me awhile to use the armor that God has given me. But, what I want to emphasize to you is the fact that I need to be more aware of what is going on and realize that God is bigger and greater than anything I am facing. I have to immerse myself in His word and take every thought to the feet of Jesus and ask for help.

Priscilla says, “Being a believer doesn’t give you immunity from the assaults of the enemy, but  it does give you access to the power of the Father—His power to defend you as well as reverse what’s been done to you. If you want to win the fight—if you want to join me in flipping the script, pinning down the enemy, and crippling his impact in your life—the key is realizing you’re connected to more spiritual brawn than is coming against you.” Satan has had me doubting that God is bigger than my issues for way too long. Because my abuse started when I was a little girl and my Dad was a lot bigger than me, my view of God was so distorted. Because of what happened to me, it caused me to make God a lot smaller than He truly was. Does that make sense? It has taken me years to realize the spiritual brawn God has. I have to go to scripture and look for the verses that state how strong God is. He is so much bigger than I give Him credit for.

Because my view of God was diminished growing up, I believed lies about myself and about Him. My brain was trained to think that my problems and issues were so much bigger than God could handle. My brain was trained to not ask for help because I thought I was alone in this fight. I believed so many lies that were ingrained in me and I wasn’t aware of most of them. I watched a mentally ill brother become sicker and sicker and frankly it scared the crap out of me! So, add that to all my other issues and I became an emotional wreck. Satan had me where he wanted me. I was completely in a pit.

I have had to work hard at getting out of that pit and I have fallen back into it at times too. There have been days I just want to hide from the world especially when I am weary. I have to remember that I am in a battle and God will give me what I need to fight it. Priscilla has so much wisdom to share when it comes to fighting Satan. She tells us that taking our thoughts captive is a ongoing action. “So we must understand that being successful at this endeavor will be a lifestyle, not a one time event. Taking thoughts captive means controlling them instead of allowing them to control you. It means actively replacing the enemy’s thinking with God’s thinking at every opportunity. Resist the urge to agree with or rehearse the negative thought. Instead replace it—repeatedly, diligently, and verbally—until eventually that brick in our stronghold comes tumbling down.”

It has been twenty years since David died. He died in July of 1997. David struggled so much with his identity in Christ. He wasn’t able to comprehend the great love Christ had for him. He struggled so much in his thought life and it was hard to watch. I am writing on his behalf because I know from first hand experience how Satan can destroy our minds with his lies. l also know that he has been after my mind for as long as I can remember. It has been a battle, but I know that the Lord has given me His word to fight it. I need to rely on His word and stay focused on Him.

Priscilla tells us that there has actually been medical research done on how our toxic thinking can affect our overall well-being and how submitting our thinking patterns to Christ can have an amazing impact. Dr. Caroline Leaf says, “Our thoughts occupy mental real estate. Thoughts are active; they grow and change….Every time you have a thought, it is actively changing your brain and your body—for better or for worse.” This makes complete sense to me. Since my childhood was a war zone, my thought life started off on the wrong foot. I really didn’t realize how toxic it was until David got sick and my panic attacks started. I have to fight for truth in my life with God’s word. It is the only thing I have that will help me and heal me.

Dr. Leaf also says, “When we control our thought life, new neural connections and pathways are visibly and measurably formed in the brain—which affects the health and wellness of our physical bodies. In other words, when we ‘take our thoughts captive,’ we are quite literally renewing and restoring our minds from a state of unhealthiness and deterioration to a state of wholeness and strength in God. Tapping into our spiritual benefits package not only keeps us from falling prey to the enemy’s deception, but also restores previous damage that’s been done. When we apply our spiritual inheritance diligently and proactively, we literally change our minds—renewing and rewiring them through God’s Word.” Oh what a glorious hope this gives me! God’s word is living, active, and sharper than a two-edged sword!

This post is a lot longer than I normally write, but I feel like this is so important in our lives. My poor brain has hope for change! I want to kick Satan’s butt and change the way I think. God’s word is the answer. We have hope because of Him! Thank you God! Now, let’s go get that evil one and kick him out of our lives!!! Until next time……

“Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” Colossians 3:2-3

This next giant has also been taunting me since I was a little girl. Once again, I didn’t realize it was an issue until later in my life. I spent all of my childhood constantly striving to be noticed by my father. I wanted him to be proud of me, so I did everything I could to get him to recognize me. Grades were a big deal for him, so I tried the best I could to have as many A’s as possible. I joined clubs and teams and strived to be the best so he would notice my accomplishments. That pattern of behavior became the way I lived my life. But, no matter what I did, I still felt rejected. So, I am going to call the next giant “Rejection.”

Louie states in Goliath Must Fall, “Rejection shows up in more ways than we think. This giant has cousins on both sides of the family—and the two sides don’t look anything alike. On one side of the family, the cousins are called insecurity, low self-esteem, low self-worth, inferiority, and even self-hate. On the other side of the family—and it can be surprising to learn these are related—the cousins are called driven to succeed, perfectionism, winning at all costs, and being an overachiever.”

Because I was rejected in many ways by my father, I lived my life trying to please and perform and be perfect. I look back at myself as a little girl and I see that I was desperate to have my father notice me. I remember one time in particular that I looked at my Dad and said, “I am just a little girl.” His expectations of me were way above what any parent should expect from a child. I just wanted him to pay attention to me like any normal child does, so his rejection of me caused some terrible habits that I still fight today. Most of my issues are listed above.

This way of life has been very hard for me to change because it is so ingrained in me. I have fallen into the trap of getting my worth by pleasing others. But, when you are pleasing others instead of the Lord, then it becomes a major issue. I am learning that there is a line that I need to stay away from. I kind of become a maniac and go into hyper-drive trying to make people happy. I can’t stop because I am getting my worth out of performing instead of from the Lord.  It is a vicious cycle and a daily struggle. I know I would be much happier if this giant was dead.

While I was reading Louie’s book, he said some things that made me understand why I am the way I am. I would like to share them with you. “If you’ve been told you’re worthless, then you think low of yourself. And if you’ve been told you’re only valuable when you perform, then you think you’ve got to prove yourself every single time to be accepted. Both methods of coping are signs you’re battling the giant of rejection.”

My Dad didn’t say I was only valuable when I performed, but the only way I got his attention was when I performed. Until I started reading this book, I didn’t realize that most of my issues stemmed from rejection. My Dad’s rejection of me turned me into a person who got her self-worth from trying to please him and others. I have learned that living to please others is dangerous because you can never please everyone and people are not going to give you what the Lord can give you. My worth can’t come from others. And, the world we live in doesn’t help matters either. Our culture is focused on achievement and success, so we feel like we aren’t worth anything unless we measure up to the world’s standard of success.

It has been tremendously difficult to believe that I am loved and I don’t have to perform for that love. Because giants have a history with us, my giant doesn’t want me to believe the truth that I am accepted and loved by God. He wants me to continue to believe that I need to perform for God’s love. Well, I am sick of listening to this giant! God’s word says, “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.” Psalm 27:10

If you have the giant of rejection in your life or any other giant for that matter, there is a book written by Neil Anderson called Who I Am In Christ that I recommend for you to read. (I need to read it again.) The very first chapter in Neil’s book says, “I Am Accepted.” It feels so good to say those three words. I am sitting here trying to soak those words into my brain and my heart. I don’t have to do anything to be accepted by God. Romans 15:7 “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” He accepts us because He created us and loves us. We don’t have to do anything to gain that acceptance. He even loves those who don’t choose Him. He just loves because that is who He is. Isn’t that amazing and hard to grasp at the same time? It boggles my brain! (I know it doesn’t take much to do that!) But, really He is truly amazing! He holds us close no matter who rejects us. He is always there for us.

The bottom line is our true net worth is Jesus Christ. Giglio God loved us so much that Jesus had to die for our sins. His life was given for us. Louie reminded me of the story of Jesus getting baptized in the Jordan River. Matthew 3:16-17 “As soon as Jesus was baptized, He went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and He saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove resting on Him. A voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with Him I am well pleased.” The point that Louie makes about this story is the fact that Jesus hadn’t even started his ministry yet. He hadn’t healed anyone or performed any miracles. God was already pleased with Him before He even started. Does that speak to anyone else out there? It sure does to me! The Father was pleased with His Son without Him doing a thing! (Well, He did get baptized and lived a perfect life because He was perfect, but besides these little facts, God accepted Him and loved Him and He wanted the world to know that!) WOW! He is whispering in our ears too!

Haven’t we all yearned to hear words of acceptance and love from others? I know I have. I yearned for years to hear them from my father. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to hear them very often from him. So, I have to start listening more to my heavenly Father and believing His words when He speaks to me instead of that ugly giant! I can’t listen to that giant any more. Whenever he tries to speak to me, I need to tell him to “shut-up!” I need to start living my life from believing that I am loved and accepted by the God of the Universe! That is huge people! (At least it is for me or maybe other performance driven people out there) He loves and accepts us before we do anything! I am in awe! My goal is to tell myself that I am loved and accepted every morning before I do anything.

I am going to end with one more story from Louie. He was asked to speak to the swimmers on the USA swim team before they left for the Olympics in Rio. This is what he said. “I don’t know exactly what you’ve been trained to think just as you stand on the blocks ready for that beep that signals you into your race. Whatever you’ve been taught to think by your coaches, think that.” He glanced at the coach and he nodded and smiled. “But if you have a split second to spare, look down at that block and imagine the word accepted written on it with your name. Hear your heavenly Father saying for all to hear, ‘This one is mine.’ Imagine Him whispering in your ear: ‘I really, really love you. I am already pleased with you!’ Then he added, “Swim your tail off! Not because acceptance is waiting for you at the end of the race—but because you already have it.”

I don’t know about you, but that is how I want to live my life. I need to believe before I do anything, even write this blog, that I am loved and accepted by God. I want to live every single day of my life hearing Him whisper in my ear, “I really, really love you. I am already pleased with you!” Thank you Louie Giglio for sharing that story! It really helped me view acceptance differently. That giant of rejection is going down! Until next time friends……