I have talked a lot about different things that have affected me in my life. But I have to say that the one thing that I keep learning about myself is that there are so many layers to my issues. I seem to learn more and more about God and about myself every single day. Just when I think I might have things figured out, God shows me something new that I need to see about myself. He is so good at peeling away the layers at just the right speed so I can see and learn what I need to.
There have been many lies that I have believed about myself. But, there is one lie that I didn’t realize was so ingrained in me. That lie is “I am not good enough.” When I saw those words written in a Bible study by Lysa TerKeurst, I began to cry. I really didn’t realize until that moment that I have always felt like I wasn’t good enough. I began to look back at my life and there wasn’t a time that I didn’t feel that way about myself.
It makes so much sense to me now. When you believe a lie about yourself, it affects everything you say and do. I never felt worthy, so that is why I became a pleaser. I tried to please my parents and everyone else so I could feel good about myself. I also became a works driven person. I felt like I had to push myself to perform for God and for others. I had to become what they wanted me to be in order to feel good about myself. I have functioned this way all of my life.
Lysa’s words on this subject helped to open my eyes to this lie I believed about myself. She said, “Never for one second did God look at us and say, My goal for this one is to simply be good enough. With Jesus, we are better than good enough because He steps in and fulfills what we cannot do on our own.” Because I believed I wasn’t good enough, I struggled all those years trying to please and perform instead of sitting at the feet of Jesus and listening to His words. I became a Martha who felt like she had “to do” things in order to please the Lord.
Lysa states in Finding I Am, “We run at a breakneck pace to try and achieve what God simply wants us to slow down enough to receive. We receive from Him everything we need to produce the fruit, therefore we must remember to stay connected to Him. He’s into the slower rhythms of life, like abiding, delighting, and dwelling—all words that require us to trust Him with our place and our pace.” If I am brutally honest, I have never been good at the trusting thing because I wanted to be in control. That is why it has been easier for me to be a Martha than a Mary. Being busy was more comfortable for me than being alone with God. I was scared of being in trouble or what He might ask me or tell me to do.
While I have been thinking about not being good enough it made me remember something I read by Ann Voskamp in The Broken Way. She says, “Isn’t the fear that I am not enough really the lie that God isn’t enough?” That statement smacked me in the face. I hadn’t looked at it that way before, but she was right. I didn’t believe that God could handle me. I didn’t think I was good enough for Him. I believed that I had to keep pleasing and performing for Him all the time. I didn’t realize that He just wanted to be with me. He wanted to set me free from the pleasing and the performing.
With Easter just around the corner, I need to be reminded of why He died for me. He came to set us free from anything that enslaves us. That means that He came to set me free from pleasing and performing. He is more concerned with having a relationship with me than me doing things for Him. Galations 5:1 says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”
I really want to live the rest of my life in freedom and not bogged down with things in my life that take me away from believing Jesus has set me free. Performance and pleasing need to go away! I need to believe what John 8:36 says. “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” Satan doesn’t want us to believe this truth. He wants us to think that we aren’t able to live in freedom and he will do anything he can to make us believe that. I have fallen into that trap way too many times. I am fed up with myself!
This Easter would you join me in claiming the freedom that Jesus gives us? Would you like to put away all the sin that entangles you and look to the face of our Savior and lean on Him to fill you with His love and freedom? I want to claim His truth and His promises. I want to believe that I am free. Acts 13:39 says, “Through Him everyone who believes is set free from every sin, a justification you were not able to obtain under the law of Moses.”
I am going to leave you with some words from Rebekah Lyons. “Freedom is for everyone who wants it—the lost, the wounded, and those weary from all of the striving. It’s for those who gave up trying years ago. It’s for professional Christians hiding secrets. It’s for the angry and hurt, for those both brilliant and burnt by the Christian song and dance. I write for you, for all of you. You are the church, the people of God. You were meant to be free.” Can I get an AMEN?!
The minute Jesus died, He freed us from sin. His death means so much for us. We need to claim the promises He gives us. We are free! Until next time friends…