Category: Uncategorized

Have you ever realized how much time you find yourself waiting? We wait in the grocery line. Maybe, you are waiting for the right job offer. You might be waiting for positive test results. We wait in huge lines to go to sporting events or concerts. We could be waiting for a loved one to stop their addiction or destructive behavior. We could be waiting for a miracle. The bottom line is… waiting is a huge part of our lives. 

I think waiting can be one of the hardest things we do in life, but it can also be a life changing experience. I have been watching the Winter Olympics since they started a few days ago. I love watching the athletes compete, but what really inspires me is each individual athlete’s story of what they’ve gone through to get to compete at the Olympics. No matter what sport they are competing in, each athlete has had to wait for this moment in time. They have faced many challenges in life and have persevered to get where they are now. They’ve learned to wait. 

We can’t all be Olympic athletes, but we can learn to be good at waiting. Let me share this quote I saw on Instagram yesterday that Toby Mac posted. “Healing takes time. There is a reason the Lord waited 22 years to reunite Joseph and his brothers. The lessons were found in the waiting.”

After I read that quote, I knew I needed to sit down and write. I fell apart 22 years ago when I started experiencing panic attacks that completely took over my life. If you have experienced panic attacks, you know how scary they are. I felt like I was going to die. I really didn’t know what was happening to me. I just knew I needed help! I finally got some relief after my doctor  prescribed some medicine that calmed the attacks down and I also started seeing a counselor.

I had a major misconception in my mind about healing from my abusive childhood. I thought it might take a few years and then I should be better!!! Boy was I wrong! The panic attacks continued for years before they went away and I am still in counseling. People that I love have made comments to me about why it’s taking so long for me to heal. I have beaten myself up over those comments. I have pleaded with the Lord to heal quicker. But, I have finally realized that there have been many lessons that I’ve needed to learn the past 22 years.

I have been very impatient with my process. I have gotten angry, cried a lot and pleaded with the Lord to heal me. But, the bottom line is… I want to know God. I want to learn. I want to understand. I want to change. I want to help others. I am determined to move forward and I will do whatever it takes to move closer to a deeper relationship with my Lord and Savior. He is my gold medal. He is my reward. 

I want to share a story with you that is in the Bible. This story is about a paralyzed man in the book of John. I’ve read this story so many times, but I have learned a new way to look at it. This man, and several others with disabilities, were lying by a healing pool of water. Jesus enters the scene and learns that this particular man has been paralyzed for 38 years.

John 5:6-9

Jesus walks over to him and asks, “Do you want to get well?” 

   “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”

   Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.

The question that Jesus asked the paralyzed man is the same question that He asked me 22 years ago. “Do you want to get well?” My response was a little more challenging than the paralyzed man. “Why would you even ask that question? Of course I do! Why do you think I am sitting here shaking all over?” (Thank goodness the Lord is patient and kind!!)

The next words that Jesus says to the man are, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” 

My response, again, was a little more verbal than the paralyzed man. “Do you see that I am shaking over here? I am asking for healing, but I want it right now! I can’t keep going on like this! I am going to have a heart attack from these stupid panic attacks. Get me out of this mess!!! How am I supposed to just get up and walk?” 

I am laughing now, as I remember those words. I was a very desperate woman! I didn’t want to wait. I wanted healing right now! But if He had healed me at that time, I wouldn’t have the lessons I’ve learned while I was waiting. I wouldn’t have the journals, the books, the Bible studies or the counseling that He has given to me. I wouldn’t have the relationship I have with Jesus and I wouldn’t be writing this post. 

I wanted to be healed immediately, just like the paralyzed man. That was his story. My story is different. I have had to wait for my healing. Now that I can look back at those really hard years, I am so grateful He has gotten me through them. I have learned that His timing is not my timing. His will is good and perfect even when it is really hard to understand. 

At times, the waiting process can been excruciating. The paralyzed man waited for 38 years to be healed. When Jesus came to him, he had a choice to make. Do I believe this guy can heal me or will I ignore His question and just keep lying here? He chose to believe Jesus, so he was able to get up and walk away from his spot by the pool.

If you are waiting right now for something to happen, let me share some things that have helped me in my waiting process. First and foremost, I have to spend time with Jesus. I have to talk to Him. I journal because it helps me get my feelings out. Counseling is crucial. Find a reliable friend or friends to support you and pray for you. Spend time reading and studying the Bible. God’s words bring the truth that you are desperately searching for. I have read countless books that have really inspired me to keep moving forward. If anyone wants a specific list of books that I have read or studies I have done, please contact me. I can give you many to choose from. I am here for you! I want to help you move forward. 

May I also add that friends and family mean well when you ask their opinions, but God is the One who truly knows the right answer. We need to ask ourselves if their opinions or comments line up with God’s word. I know I have fallen into the trap of listening to others more than God. 

Let me leave you with some very wise words by Oswald Chambers and Jim Cymbala. 

Chambers  “Living a life of faith means never knowing where you are being led. But it does mean loving and knowing the One who is leading. It is literally a life of faith, not of understanding and reason—a life of knowing Him who calls us to go.” (Or, get up and walk!)

Cymbala  “Faith enables us to see God on top of all our problems. If we see only the problems, we get depressed and start making wrong decisions….”Unbelief” talks to itself instead of talking to God…. When we talk to ourselves, we’re not talking to anyone very smart, because our outlook is very limited. But if we talk to God, we’re talking to someone who knows everything. He knows what He promised in the beginning, and He knows exactly how to fulfill those promises no matter the circumstances.”

If you asked me if all the time reading, counseling and studying is worth it, I would definitely say yes! My mental health is worth it and so is yours!! The lessons I have learned have gotten me to where I am today. I won’t be completely healed till I die and see Jesus. So, while I am waiting, I will keep moving forward towards that finish line where Jesus will be standing with my gold medal in His hand. Oh, what a glorious day that will be!

Until next time….This is my journey to joy!

I used to go to a lot of football games when I was growing up because my dad was a football coach. There was one item we always carried with us—a set of binoculars. My mom and I would take turns watching the game on the field with those binoculars. But what I really loved to do was watch the people that were cheering in the stands. Watching people can be quite entertaining. (I promise. I am not a creeper.)

I guess you could say that I am observant. I had to be that way growing up in order to survive. I became the daughter that I needed to be thinking that would make my dad happy. And if my dad was happy, then he would quit hurting us verbally and physically. I really thought that I could make him want to be a different person. Well, that strategy didn’t work! 

For years and years, I placed my hope on my father changing. I thought if I could do enough, he would change for me. My biggest mistake was placing my hope on a person and not on God. There is nothing wrong with hoping someone will change. The problem happens when we place our hope on that person changing. After many years of soul searching, I realize that my desire for him to change became more important than my desire for God. 

If you have read any of my posts before, you know I am a word nerd. I love to look up definitions of words. So bear with me while I give you two different definitions of hope.

Hope (as a verb)— to cherish a desire with anticipation; to desire with expectation of obtainment; to expect with confidence; trust. 

Hope (as a noun)— trust, reliance; a desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment. Someone or something on which hopes are centered.

While I was looking up verses on hope, I remembered reading a verse in Proverbs several years ago that bugged me because I couldn’t understand it.  Proverbs 13:12 “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true, there is life and joy.” So, I decided to do a little research on what “hope deferred” meant. I am so glad I did!

When we eagerly hope for something important, and it keeps being postponed, the longing we feel can make our heart sick. It can cause despair and affliction. When hope is crushed, the heart is crushed. Hope deferred can lead to depression, anxiety, and actual physical sickness. When we wait for a good thing for so long we can become hopeless. Dashed hopes can sicken our hearts. When we keep hoping and hoping things will change we can be tempted to allow that thing to become an idol because we start to want that thing more than God.

While I was reading about “hope deferred”, I recognized that I have been living with a sick heart for most of my life. I have been through depression, anxiety, despair, hopelessness and physical sickness. My heart hoped for my circumstances to change and for people to change for so long that my heart has taken quite a beating. It has been sick over the destruction I have seen and lived through. 

I am realizing there has to be a mind switch on what we hope for. We can hope, but it is Who we place our hope on that makes the difference. Let me give you an example. You might have a friend, a family member, or a spouse in your life who is living a lifestyle that is sinful and destructive. You are hoping and praying that he or she will see the light and decide that they no longer want to live that way. Day after day you hope and pray they will change. And, day after day your heart becomes a little sicker when you don’t see a change. 

I am learning that I have to catch myself when I am headed into despair. I have to stop, grab hold of my mind, and pray. “Lord, you know how much I want ________ to overcome the sin in their life. I place my hope on You, not on _________ to change. I pray for Your will above my will to be done in their life. I release my hopes and dreams for them to You. No matter what happens, my hope is in you and your will for ________. Help me to handle whatever happens. You are the Source of my hope.”

I know it is easier said than done. But, if we are going to survive emotionally, we have to place our hope on the Lord. This mindset can apply to any situation. My hope has to be on the Lord during this pandemic. My hope can’t be placed on anyone or anything else because, “Hope remains constant when we get to know the Source of all hope.” Kent

Let me share some verses with you.

Isaiah 40:31 “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Lamentations 3:25-26 “The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the One who seeks Him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”

Psalm 62:5-7 “I wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.”

Psalm 39:7 “But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in You.”

What are we looking for? What are we hoping for? Where are we placing our hope? Are we placing our hope on an answer or a change? Are we waiting quietly before the Lord?” Take some time to ask yourself these questions and process your answers.

All of us are facing many things in our lives that are trying to suck the hope out of us. I have spent too many years allowing that to happen in my life. I want to do better. I want to be better. I know that my eyes have to focus on God and not anyone or anything else. He is the source of hope for all of us. If we put our hope in Him, there are great benefits. 

For me, it is a releasing of my will. I need to completely trust His will in my life, and those I love, even if I don’t understand what He is doing. I need to want His will more than mine and mean it when I pray, “Your will be done.” I have hope in Him. I have hope He will always work things out for good. I have hope He is working and moving even when I can’t see it. I must trust Him and His way of working. 

I have to be okay even if what I am seeing isn’t okay. It has taken me a long time to get where I am right now. I still struggle with hope because I am so used to being that young girl with the binoculars. I am trying so hard to change the way I process what is going on around me. I am asking for the Holy Spirit to help me retrain my mind to switch from what I see to Who I see. I want to see the Lord through those binoculars and not the people around me. My focus has to be on Him. He is the only way I am going to survive.

I just read this verse and want to share it with you before I finish.

Hebrews 6:19 “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.”

“Hope floats because it has an anchor. And what does an anchor do? It keeps the ship on course when wind and waves rage against it. But the anchor of hope is sunk in heaven, not on earth.” Carol Kent and Gregory Floyd

My anchor, your anchor is Christ. Our happiness comes through hope in God. 

I pray this post is helpful to you. I pray that we can find our hope in the Lord and not on things on this earth. Hope does not disappoint when we place it on God. He will accomplish His good and perfect will no matter the circumstances. We can have hope that He will do that!

Until next time…..This is my journey to joy.

I didn’t expect to write another post this year, but I am compelled to sit here and write. I simply can’t get this sentence out of my mind. “Christ came into the world for you — and you came into the world for Him.” Voskamp

Most of us make New Year’s resolutions every year. We contemplate what we would like to do differently in the new year. But this year, I would like to challenge myself and you to bring God into what we decide our resolutions need to be. Maybe we should ask ourselves a few questions before we write down our resolutions. 

“Lord, we came into this world for you. What would You like for us to change in our lives? What lessons do we need to learn? What things do we need to do differently? What do you want us to do with our days? How can we bring glory to You?”  

It is pretty simple when it comes right down to it. Why am I here? Why are you here? Our purpose in life is to display Christ. Our purpose is to glorify Him in what we say and what we do. He wants us to love others and live our days walking with Him. 

How often do we include God in the process of writing down our resolutions? He wants us to include Him in the process. He came down. He came down to this earth for us. He came to give us life. He came to be our Savior. I think we forget the simplicity of it all. 

“This night a battle has been waged and won for you. Love had to come back for you. Love had to get to you. The Love that has been coming for you since the beginning—He slays dragons for you. This is the truest love story of history, and it’s His-Story, and it’s for you. All the other fairy-tale love stories only echo your yearning for this truest, realest one—this one that has its beginning before the beginning of time. This night, you on this visited planet, your rescue is here. You can breathe. Your God extends now on straw. He lays Himself down in your mire. He unfolds Himself in the stench you want to hide, in that mess that is your impossible, in the mucked straw you don’t want anyone to know.” Voskamp

When I read those words, it makes me want to live my days for Him. Look at what He did for us!!! He came down. I can’t get that fact out of my head! And, He not only came down, but He also wants to lay Himself down in our mire! 

Word nerd alert! What does mire mean? 1. a stretch of swampy or boggy ground. 2. a situation or state of difficulty, distress, or embarrassment from which it is hard to extricate oneself.

He wants to get into the things that drag us down. He wants to be with us while we battle the things we want to hide from everyone. I have learned that the only way I am going to get out of the mire, is to grab onto Him for dear life. He is my only rescue! I might try to attach myself to other things, but HE IS THE ONLY WAY OUT! 

If you want to get free from something in the new year, you have to invite Jesus into the stench you want to hide. He wants you to ask for His help. He wants to rescue you, but you have to do your part. 

I know what it is like to be desperate for change. I know what it is like to be stuck in my own sin looking for a way out. I have felt utterly helpless because I couldn’t see how I was going to be able to break free from the bondage in my life. But, I am here to tell you that Jesus came down in the muck and mire of my sin and brought me out!

There isn’t a magical pill you can take. You simply have to be honest with God. No more hiding or lying to yourself or to Him. He knows the truth anyway. That issue or issues in your life aren’t going to go away without inviting Him into them. I have spent many years getting honest with God. I have had so many strongholds that needed to be broken. But God has been right by my side setting me free from the sin that was keeping me in bondage. He got in the mire with me and brought me out. But, I had to do my part. 

We have to be willing to give up what we desperately want to hang onto. A drug addict has to be willing to give up drugs. An alcoholic has to be willing to give up alcohol. A sex addict has to be willing to give up sex. We have to be willing to give up whatever is keeping us bogged down. If you want to be set free, you have to be willing to give it to God. 

I know that there is someone out there that is reading this post and thinking, “I want to change, but I just don’t think I can give up _________.” Let me tell you right now, you can. And the reason why you can is because Jesus came down. He came down for us. And if He can come down and die on that cross for us, then we can give up whatever it is that is controlling our lives. 

I am very passionate about this because I have lived it. I have had to go before the Lord many, many times and lay things down. I have had to ask for His help so I can walk in freedom. I have journal after journal that documents freedom from the sin in my life. I know how hard it is to give things up or give people up. But, what you gain makes the people or the issues in your life lose their importance. And that my friend is pure joy! When you gain more of Christ, there isn’t anything else on this earth that can compete with that!

Philippians 3:8 “What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.”

There is never a day that I say, “I wish I had that bondage back. I wish I had those people back that were a big part of my problems. I wish I could go back and live in the mire and stench of my sin.” I kind of like living in freedom. Once you taste it, you don’t ever want to go back. And there is freedom to be had for all of us!!!

So this year, when we make our New Year’s resolutions, may we be mindful of Christ and include Him in the process. Ask Him what changes need to be made and seek Him for His wisdom and strength. Call on Him to get into the messes we have made and rescue us from our sin. He is there waiting to help us. That’s why He came down. He came into the world for us and we are in this world for Him!!! 

I am going to end with some verses from Isaiah that I learned when I was taking “Breaking Free” by Beth Moore. These words depict who Jesus is and why He came. 

Isaiah 61:1-3 

“The spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,

     because the Lord has anointed me

     to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

     to proclaim freedom for the captives

     and release from darkness for the prisoners,

to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor

     and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,

     and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

     instead of ashes, 

the oil of gladness

     instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise 

     instead of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness, 

     a planting of the Lord

     for the display of his splendor.”

Happy New Year!! May 2022 be a year of freedom for all of us!! 

This is my journey to joy. Until next time…

When I was a little girl, I loved getting gifts at Christmas. What child doesn’t? I was one of those kids that loved the challenge of finding the gifts that my mother purchased for me. My poor mom had to find all sorts of interesting places to hide our gifts because I usually found them. I would actually open the wrapped gifts and then rewrap them making her think I hadn’t found them. I know I drove her crazy! 

We actually had some pretty great places to hide gifts in our house and I knew every place there was to hide them. I remember two times my mom was able to outsmart me. One year she hid them in the back of our station wagon and another year she dispersed them at different houses in our neighborhood. That was really sheer genius on her part! 

You can see that I love to search and find things, which explains my love for mysteries. I think I must have read every Nancy Drew book that was ever published when I was growing up. I still love figuring out who the killer is before it is revealed in the book or movie that I am watching. I am a detective in my heart. I love seeking and finding the truth.

For the past 8 years during the month of December, I have been reading “The Greatest Gift” by Ann Voskamp. Below the title of this devotional are these words: “Unwrapping The Full Love Story Of Christmas.”  Notice the word unwrapping. I knew when I saw that word that I was going to be on a journey of discovery. If you haven’t read this devotional, I highly recommend you get it. Every year I read it during the month of December and every year I discover something new!  

The word nerd that I am compelled me to look up the definitions of unwrap and detect.

Unwrap— to remove the wrapping from: DISCLOSE  Unwrap a package; Unwrap evidence in a criminal case. 

Detect— to discover the true character of; to discover or determine the existence, presence, or fact of 

The definition of each word explains so much of who I am. I love to unwrap because I love to discover what is under the wrapping paper. Just look at a child’s face when they unwrap their gifts. There is so much joy when they discover what is under the paper. And that’s how I feel when I unwrap Christmas. I feel so much joy as I uncover the character of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. They are fascinating! I like to call them my “holy huddle.” 

This past year has been a tough one. I’m sure most of you feel that way. There have been so many issues to deal with. But, even though I have been hit with so many things, I have pursued my “holy huddle.” They have shown me how to live my days walking in their truth and light. 

Let me share these words from “The Greatest Gift.” “Wise men are only wise because they make their priority the seeking of Christ.” I have read the story of Jesus’ birth so many times. But, it never resonated with me why the wise men were considered wise. They were wise because their priority was finding Jesus. I want my priority to be the same as the wise men.

I have been intrigued by the wise men this Christmas, so I did a little research. Scholars aren’t certain how long it took them to find Jesus or when they finally did. There are many views on this topic. But, what gets me is the fact that they weren’t going to stop until they found Him. They were on a mission to find the Christ child. And just like the wise men, we have our own mission. We have to look for Jesus in our every day lives. He is there. We have to pray for our eyes to be opened to who He is. In Matthew 7:7-8, Jesus says, “when you seek, you will find.”

We have a “holy huddle” to talk to. God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit want us to come to them and ask for their help. We are not alone. We have the absolute best and most powerful force on our side. Even while there is evil all around us, we have a mighty God who is more than able to help us. We must believe in that power. We can never be undone. 

“But out of a family line that looks like a mess, God brings the Messiah. What was intended to harm, God intended all of it for good, and no matter what intends to harm you, God’s arms have you. You can never be undone.” Voskamp

I know it is hard with so much going on to take the time to pause and look for Him. I have found it hard to do when the days are riddled with so much activity. And to be honest, there are times that I get so wrapped up in my daily routine that I forget to look. But, I must keep at it. I must keep looking for Him in my every day life so I can recognize His presence.  

We unwrap Christmas when we take the time to seek, to look, to find, to open the greatest gift ever given. I still feel so much joy when I discover something new about my “holy huddle.” I feel like that little girl who found the gifts that my mother hid from me. When I learn something new or see God at work around me, I get so excited! I call those moments my “AHA moments!”

Whenever God uncovers a mystery for me, I am blown away. The reason why is because my “holy huddle” is taking the time to show me what I have been seeking. The fact that they care enough to impart truth to me completely amazes me. 

“God always sees—and He will always see to it. And He will be seen. God gives God. That is the gift God always ultimately gives. Because nothing is greater and we have no greater need, God gives God. God gives God, and we only need to slow long enough to unwrap the Greatest Gift with our time: time in His word, time in His presence, time at His feet.” Voskamp

Isn’t that beautiful? God gives God. We only need to take the time to be with Him. His presence is the present that we seek. All those years of me looking and finding those gifts don’t even compare to the joy I get from being in His presence and having my “AHA moments!” I like to think that the wise men felt the same way when they finally reached their destination; when they finally found the Savior of the world. Oh what joy they must have felt to see Him after their long journey!

And that is what we are on—a long journey on this earth. Some days seem longer than others. This year feels like 10 years. But what are we going to do while we are here? What are we going to do with our time? Where are we going to look for our answers? Those are questions we need to ask ourselves. A new year is coming. How are you going to spend your days? 

I am still going to seek. I am going to unwrap every day as if it were Christmas. I am going to spend time with my “holy huddle” and talk to them and ask them questions and listen for their teaching. I am going to lay down anything that gets in my way. I am going to keep searching so I can detect their involvement in my life.

What are you going to do to unwrap Christmas? It’s never too late to start. We can unwrap truth every single day of the year. We can search and look for God every day we live on this planet. He is here. He wants to be found. Put your Sherlock Holmes hat on, find your magnifying glass and look for Him. He is everywhere.

“He is Immanuel—which means, “God with us.” Matthew 1:23

My journey has been filled with many detours. There have been mountains to climb and valleys  so low I didn’t think I would be able to climb out of. There have been days plodding in the desert and months of strolling on green grass surrounded by blooming flowers. But no matter where I am walking, I am advancing with my “holy huddle.” I am searching for answers. I am listening for truth. I am guided by the biggest magnifying glass ever created in the universe. All I have to do is put on my detective hat, grab that magnifying glass, and get ready to find the amazing truth that comes from the greatest huddle ever assembled. My prayer for myself and for you is, “May we be like the wise men and make our priority the seeking of Christ.” Voskamp

Merry Christmas everyone!!! I pray you will have a Christmas that is filled with so much joy!!! Until next time….

“JOY TO THE WORLD THE LORD HAS COME!!!!!”

We are constantly laying things down every day. We lay down our cell phones, our cups of coffee or a book we’ve been reading. We go through this mindless process every single day. But, the second we are faced with laying down people or circumstances in our lives, the struggle in our mind begins.

There is a powerful story in the Bible that depicts what it looks like to lay someone down. It’s the story of Abraham and Isaac. If you aren’t familiar with the story, I encourage you to read Genesis 22:1-19 in your Bible. Abraham and his wife Sarah prayed and waited for a child for 25 years. They were very old when Isaac was born. You can imagine how much Isaac meant to them. He was the answer to their prayers and also the answer to God’s promise to them. One day God asks Abraham to take Isaac to a mountain and sacrifice him on a altar. Abraham obeys God. They go to the mountain. Abraham builds the altar and ties Isaac up to be sacrificed. He gets ready to slay his son and then an angel of the Lord intervenes and tells him to stop. (This is a very short version of the story.)

Lysa TerKeurst writes in her book Radically Obedient, Radically Blessed, “No one understands the concept of offering it all to God better than Abraham…When God commanded Abraham to lay his only son on the altar…I am sure Abraham fully expected to plunge the dagger through Isaac. It would be an end…the death of a dream. Yet, Abraham was willing to give up the son he loved to the God who loved him more, and God blessed him…Abraham walked away having experienced God in a way few ever do. God wants to know if we’re willing to give up what we love to Him who loves us more. He desires for us to open our fists and trust Him with absolutely everything.”

Look back at the part that says, “God wants to know if we’re wiling to give up what we love to Him who loves us more. He desires for us to open our fists and trust Him with absolutely everything.” All of us have people we love in our lives. But, what I think we need to realize is the fact that no matter how much we love our people, God loves us more! Take a minute and let that soak in. God loves us more than we love our spouse, our children, our parents, our friends, our families and our special someone. 

Abraham waited a very long time for Isaac. I know Abraham and his wife Sarah deeply loved him. Of course we don’t know what Abraham was thinking when God asked him to sacrifice his son and we don’t know what his internal struggle was, but we do know that Abraham was obedient. He knew God loved him. He knew God was faithful and he trusted Him. He knew God wouldn’t ask him to do something that was wrong. I believe this was a test to see how much Abraham trusted God and also how willing Abraham was to give up someone he dearly loved. 

As smart as I might think I am, there is someone who is much smarter than me. God has a much better plan than I could ever have. His way is far better than mine. And lately, He has been asking me to come before Him and lay some of my hopes, my dreams, my desires and my relationships down. He wants me to lay them on the altar as a sacrifice to Him. 

Let me share a few words from Carol Kent’s book When I Lay My Isaac Down. “At that moment Abraham relinquished his own desires, dreams, plans, and hopes for Isaac’s future and made the sacrifice an act of worship to the God he trusted with a confidence so strong that even if God allowed his son to die, Abraham knew God could raise him from the dead.”

Can I ask you a few questions? Are you hanging on to someone or something in your life with a tight fist? Do you see someone you love going down the wrong path? Are you wildly waving your hands in the air begging to be heard? Are you filled with anxiety over something in your life that you have lost control over?

May I say, “Welcome to the club!” Let me share some words from Carol Kent. “No one I know has been exempt from “faith-tests.” Whether these tests feel brutally incomprehensible, like Abraham’s, or are simply “par for the course” of life as a follower of God, they seem to have at least one thing in common: letting go of control. We get to choose how we will go about this excruciating process. Will we honor God by continuing to love and trust Him regardless of our circumstances, or will we insist on trying to direct the outcome?”

Oh how the struggle is real over “letting go” or “trying to direct the outcome.” I like to think that God needs my help, so I interject my will or my thoughts or my way. Oh brother! Like the God of the Universe needs my help. How silly of me to think that! But, that is what I do. I am learning that I have to daily lay down that person or that issue before God. In my mind, I have to hand it over to Him and ask that His will be done. 

I don’t want to be a tight-fisted woman and hang onto things that aren’t mine to control. It makes me miserable. I want to open up my fist and remember how much God loves me. He loves me more than that person or circumstance that I am hanging onto for dear life. His outcome is far better than mine could ever be. 

I have experienced a lot of loss in my life. I know that is why I tend to hang on so tightly. And, I am sure there are a lot of you that feel that way too. It’s hard to lose people, dreams, desires and plans that you have. Let me share a few verses with you. 

Philippians  3:8-9 “I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him.”

I am beginning to realize that I have gained more of Christ through my losses. With each loss, I have gained more knowledge and more intimacy with my Savior. Even though losing is painful, I am realizing that I gain so much more. I have gained intimacy with Christ. You can’t put a price on that!!

Look, it hasn’t been easy for me to get me to this point. It has taken some pretty difficult situations to get me to lay my Isaac’s down. I have been a tight fisted woman! But, I realize I have a choice to make. Do I keep stewing over everything, trying to make things work out, or do I sit down before the Lord and hand each person and situation over to Him? 

“Relinquishment is a poignant word. It means “to let go of, to cease to hold in the hand.” It means giving up my rights to control the person, dream, expectation, or preferred outcome of the object of my concern… When we release our grasp, our relinquishment puts a stop to our manipulation of other people and releases the Holy Spirit to do the supernatural through the power of prayer. It’s an act of trusting God when we cannot envision a positive outcome. But in the end, its the only thing that works.” Carol Kent

So, my friends, I am choosing to relinquish my grasp. I am choosing to lay it all down before the Lord, so the Holy Spirit can be released. He is the only One who has the power to change me and the people that I love or the circumstances I am facing. I want to do this because I love Him so very much! It is a sacrifice that I am ready to make. 

My prayer for all of you is that you would be able to lay your Isaac’s down. I want you to be able to see God work in your life and in your Isaac’s lives. The Holy Spirit is already working in me through this process and I am sure He will do that for you too!

Regardless of what happens, I am going to trust Him and rely on His love for me. Like Abraham, I want to be obedient to what God asks me to do. Just look at what God did for Abraham because he was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice. The blessing from his bloodline was Jesus!! And, God will bless us too!!! May we be able to lay everything down before Him and watch Him work. May we rely on Him to do more than we can even imagine because of His great love for us. Oh, what a joy it is to witness the power of God in our lives and in others. To God be the glory because of the great things He has done and will do in our lives!!!

Until next time my dear friends. This is my journey to joy!!