Going After God’s Heart

I love to watch Star Wars, Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter movies because they depict the fight between good and evil. There are so many spiritual truths in these movies. When I watch them, it makes me wonder what is really going on in the spiritual realm between the angels and the demons. I know there is a war going on that we cannot see—right now— this very minute. Yes, we are in the middle of a war that we cannot see between the Prince of Darkness and the Prince of Peace. One day, the Lord is going to kick Satan’s butt once and for all and there will be no more evil. I personally cannot wait for that day!

With the advancement of the internet, social media, television, technology, we can find out tragedies within minutes. It is out there blasting us in the face 24/7. It is so easy to get bogged down in it and let it rule our emotions. You can become a basket case within seconds of reading the news or hearing about it. Evil happenings are bombarding you all the time. I have to turn it off and keep away from it sometimes because it disturbs me so much.

Allow me to share something with you by John Eldredge. “The invasion of the kingdom of God is something that is still unfolding, right now, today. Jesus is not merely seated upon a throne somewhere up in the sky.” Then he refers to 1Corinthians 15:24-25 which says, “Then the end will come, when He hands over the kingdom to God the Father after He has destroyed all communion, authority and power. For He must reign until He has put all His enemies under His feet.” That means that Jesus is working—right now—all the time—to put all the enemies under His feet. All I can say is “Hallelujah!!”

Here is the thing we need to understand. God created the world and everything in it. He picked Adam and Eve to be the first inhabitants on this planet. God warned them not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, but Eve just couldn’t help herself. Satan convinced her that God didn’t mean what He said and made her think that she was missing out on something better. She then convinced Adam to eat from the tree of forbidden fruit and the rest is history.

When God chose to create us, He gave us free will. Adam and Eve had free will. At a very pivotal moment in history, Eve chose to listen to Satan instead of God. Then, Adam chose to listen to Eve instead of God. They chose to listen to the wrong person! Since then, there has been this struggle for every single human being born on this earth. God could have made us like puppets on a string, but He didn’t because of His great love for us. He wanted us to have free will. It is our fault, not God’s that we choose sin. I get so sick and tired of people blaming God. It isn’t His fault that people are evil. We all have a choice in how we decide to live our lives.

When I was growing up, my chief authority figure was my Dad. Because of his abusive power, I tended not to trust people in authority over me. So, I struggled for years trusting God. When the panic attacks started, I knew deep down inside that I had to start learning who God was. I had to start studying God’s word and learn as much as I possibly could about Him. I knew the only way I was going to survive was to have an intimate relationship with my heavenly Father.

God wants an intimate relationship with all of us. And In order to have that, we need to know who God is. When I go to Him to pray or to study, I have learned that God is my partner. I have struggled with that concept because I was a “Lone Ranger” for many years. Every single day I need to remind myself that I have a partner who wants me to turn to Him for help. He wants me to keep my eyes focused on Him, not my problems or crises. When I take my eyes off of Him, I begin to drown in fear and anxiety. I need to keep my eyes fixed on the One who can truly help me.

I think one of the biggest hurdles we have is realizing the truth about who God is. Each person’s view of God is defined by what has happened to them in their lives instead of who He really is. When I first started on this journey, I thought God was angry with me so I was very afraid of Him. I was basing my knowledge of God on my feelings and the things that had happened to me. My view of Him was terribly warped by abuse, so I had major issues talking to Him. I had to learn who He really was in order to overcome my view of Him. I have learned that God is someone who listens. I also learned that He is kind, loving, supportive, generous and even fun! I have come a long way in my view of Him. It is so important for all of us to know who we are talking to. We need to know what He is capable of and the only way we are going to know these things is to study and spend time with Him. I continue to learn and be in awe of Him on a daily basis. 

In our culture today, I think we have allowed God to become small. We have forgotten who He is because of all the violence and tragedies. I think Satan is using all these things to make us doubt the power and might of our God like never before. John Eldredge adds, “The evil one pounces, poisoning our confidence that a good and loving God is in control. As a friend said at lunch yesterday, “It takes everything to believe that God exists and that He’s good.” I think that if we are honest with ourselves, most of us would tend to agree with that statement. That is why it is so important for us to know who God is and what He is capable of. We can’t rely on our feelings. We need to rely on the word of God.

When you read the Psalms, you see the struggles David faces with others, with himself, with tragedies, wars, and with God. He was far from perfect and made a lot of mistakes. But, He is credited for a man after God’s own heart. I personally think the only way we are going to know God is to go after His heart. “The Psalms are given to the church as our prayer book, our primer, and they are beautiful. Assuring us that not only can God handle the full span of our emotional life, He invites us to bring it to Him.” Eldredge

I was reminded this morning by Facebook that it has been two years since I have been writing this blog. ( I can’t believe it!) When I started counseling eighteen years ago, Marcia (my counselor) told me to find a spot in my house where I would feel safe. I picked a corner in my bedroom where I could pray, study and journal. The picture posted above is where I spend most of my time with God unless it is a nice day; then I am outside. I have spent hours going after God in this spot. My pursuit has changed me and I feel like I am just scratching the surface of who He is.

I love my God and I want you to love Him too. I would love for you to know Him and pursue Him. If you are feeling desperate or you just want to know more, then I encourage you to read the Psalms. You will see that God wants to have a relationship with you. He wants to be involved in your life. As you read, I encourage you to journal. It feels weird at first, but it brings intimacy into your relationship with Him. I basically write down my feelings and have conversations with Him over what I am learning or what I am struggling with.

This blog wouldn’t be possible without the support of my family. When I first started I was scared to death to do it. They have edited my writing–looked up scripture for me–supported me and encouraged me. I want to say “THANK YOU!” to them and to you for reading my blog. I pray God is using it in your life. I want to be a woman who goes after God’s heart. I don’t want to stop going after Him until the day I die. I am so very grateful that I get to have a relationship with the God of the Universe. I am so blessed! No matter what happens in my life, I have Him by my side. I can’t put a price tag on that! 

Until next time dear friends….

2 thoughts on “Going After God’s Heart

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